I was visiting my buddy Fletch recently and while he was planning his next trip to Denver (a journey in which he ritually uses this poor bastard who thinks Fletch really likes him, but is in fact only a pawn to Fletch because he lives near some 'bitchin' slopes...Fletch's words, not mine), I spyed his video collection (which is riddled with snuff films, and gay pornagraphy). In his collection, the movie Flyboys caught my eye. My first thought was why not just call it Man on Man Action.... but then I realized my error.

Flyboys is not an adult feature that celebrates Fletcher's and Duggan's deviant lifestyle, but rather is a Hollywood production that saw the big screen last summer.

Flyboys stars James Franco (you know him as Harry from the Spiderman trilogy) as Blaine Rawlings, one of many young American bucks who wish to join the French military during World War I so they can learn to fly, and become the first fighter pilots. Flyboys is filled with token plots, token stories, a token black guy, and a token white guy that is prejudiced towards him (of course he learns the better of ways and realizes that hey, this black guy is just like me, and I shouldn't hate him just because of the color of his skin(.. you may remember this exact scenario from the Patriot).... if only all the world could watch this movie, we could put an end to racism).

Where Flyboys is weak on story, it is amazingly strong on special effects. The dogfight scenes between the French and the Germans are spectacular. They save this film, and thankfully the director or writer didn't waste too much time getting to the meat of the movie. Why waste time on plot and character development, when you can have air battle, after air battle? Why indeed.

I learned a great deal from this film, some historical notes, some interesting things about planes back then, and of course, the French. The history of French cowardice to be more specific. Apparently their legacy of being a nation of pussies began in World War I (although it could have started sooner). Rather than fly the planes and get killed themselves, the French showed a group of Americans how to fly (the head instructor is played by Jean Reno, who has apparently over the past decade replaced Christopher Lambert as the token 'French guy'), gave them planes, and waved au revoir while they stayed behind and sipped wine, ate baguettes and more than likely sucked each others cocks. Amazing how not one of the pilots in this movie was a French. Or perhaps it's not amazing at all. Good Luck Americans!!!

Flyboys is a pretty kick ass film. If you want to avoid story, and acting, this is the way to do it. Aside from some waste of time romance bullshit between Franco's character and a French whore, this movie is wall to wall action and some damn good eye candy. If you are looking for story (check out Cybernator... oh wait... no really go see it), go elsewhere, if you are looking for fun and another reason to laugh at France.... Flyboys is your flick.

Hamlin Grade: 6

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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