Bay-stardization: An increasingly common occurrence in the film industry in which beloved films, television series, cartoons, video games, toys etc have their storylines "re-imagined" or in some cases reinvented wholesale with the sole purpose of introducing a new golden tit for greed-driven studio executives to suckle from.

A film-maker interested in performing the process of Bay-stardization should adhere to the following steps:

First, harvest the original idea, then formally announce the project during a forum such as this year's Comic-Con and crank out as much hi-gloss promotional material, conceptual art, and/or teaser footage as is physically possible to be fed to the crazed fans of the original film at next year's Comic-Con.

Next, strip away any worrisome substance or insight contained in the original and substitute with equal parts cliche and fecal matter during the screenwriting and production phases.

Arrange for a mega-release of the movie and stand back as devoted fans leaving the cinema complex either ponder your violent death or strain to convince themselves that "it really wasn't that bad."

Finally, reflect upon said fan base's grief as you drunkenly laugh all the way to your palatial beach house with two of the filthiest sluts money can buy in the passenger seat stripped naked and oiling themselves as a fat young Philippine boy cradles a magnum of champagne in one arm and the biggest bag of gerbil food that could be acquired at this hour in the other.

Everything you ever loved will be sodomized by Michael Bay,
Joey