REVIEW: The Day the Earth Stopped
There is a new trend developing in the world of direct-to-DVD releases, where small production companies churn out films with a premise similar to a much larger Hollywood production, and then launch the effort prior to or at the same time. This, in theory, allows the smaller film to piggy-back on the marketing of the larger film, and perhaps get a few unsuspecting viewers to be fooled into mistakenly purchase or rent the movie.
The Day the Earth Stopped is nearly a direct copy of the The Day the Earth Stood Still. However, instead of Keanu Reeves we get C. Thomas Howell... and Judd Nelson. Instead of millions of dollars worth of CGI, we get refurbished footage from Robot Jox and fucking strobe light. The one thing that The Day the Earth Stopped does have is breasts. Full, well rounded, alabaster breasts.
With those elements alone, The Day the Earth Stopped is clearly a superior movie. Where it failed is in the picture they chose to duplicate.
The Day the Earth Stopped is produced by the talented and versatile C. Thomas Howell (Pony Boy of the Outsiders), who directed and starred in the film. The premise of the film as I said before doesn't deviate far from the Keanu version. Hundreds of giant transformers appear in the major capital cities across the globe and are intent on destroying everything unless the humans can prove their value.
The movie opens with the giant robots already dotting the metropolis' around the world, and a group of soldiers investigating mysterious alien landings in the more wooded region of Los Angeles. Soldier Josh Myron (Howell) and his partner discover one of the aliens... who just happens to be a super hot chick... oh and she is buck-ass nekkid (extraterrestrials are advanced enough to conquer space travel, but don't have the technology to synthesize a pair of panties... yeah really why am I complaining, Director C. Thomas Howell saw fit to get this actress to display her lovelies for us). Sadly, she has a partner... who is a skinny young man... and also just as nekkid. The breasts however do help off-set the man-ass.
As much as I'd like to make fun of C. Thomas, I really can't. He's not that bad of an actor. Unfortunately the caliber of thespian that make up his supporting cast have the acting ability of car wash attendants... well except for Darren Dalton (Dalton starred with C. Thomas Howell in The Outsiders and Red Dawn... he played Darryl, the douche who swallowed the homing beacon and had to be dispatched by Swayze) who plays Prewitt.. he was brilliantly awful.
Bad Movie Knight NOTE: Anger seems to be the easiest emotion for actors to portray, perhaps because as a species we are generally very pissed off. Thanks to this defect, many b-grade movie actors and actresses tend to overdo the anger angle, and you end up with a cast of characters that are generally screaming and cursing at one another... even if the scene is just a guy ordering a coffee.
In any case, Josh Myron (Howell) takes Alien Tits on a tour of LA in order to showcase the best that Earth has to offer. The alien outside of being pretty hot, offers next to nothing in this movie, especially when she puts a shirt on. Myron fails in almost every instance as they are pursued by the military, shot at, and even car-jacked... all of which do little to help showcase the value of human life.
ENTER JUDD NELSON.
Judd Nelson who in the trailer appeared to have a major role in this piece of shit has nothing more than a bit part. Myron and the Alien help Nelson and his wife deliver their baby in the back of his truck ( the preferred birthing unit of the mid-westerner). Ahhh the gift of life.
Seeing this helps Jugs decide that humans are A-OKAY and jumps into the L.A. stationed robot along with her counterpart and they shut down the destruct sequence, and fly back to their naked alien planet. YAY we are saved. Are we?
Ultimately, from an entertainment perspective The Day the Earth Stopped is much better movie than The Day the Earth Stood Still... but so is smashing a turd with a hammer.
Hamlin Grade: 4.5
Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,