Fortress 2: Re-entry is another terrific example of returning to the well for another sweet drink of profits and glory and finding your cup filled to the brim with steaming hot shit.

For the record, Fortress, the original feature was a pretty good movie. Set in a post-apocalyptic world where breeding is outlawed unless you are granted a license by the current government... violators of this policy are sentenced to lengthy prison terms in a maximum security underground facility where they will enjoy all the amenities which include rape, harassment, physical abuse, more rape, shitty food, and intestination ( electronic devices are implanted into the prisoners stomachs and when they misbehave are met with severe stomach cramps... similar to the ones experienced following a meal at White Castle... but not quite as harsh). Of course with any prison film we await the ever predictable finale which sees our heroes escaping.... which beautifully sets up the very unnecessary sequel Fortress 2: Re-entry.

Christopher Lambert reprises his role as John Brennick, in Fortress 2: Re-entry and we now find him living in secrecy with his wife Karen (who was pregnant in part 1) and their young son Danny. Secrecy is a relative term, since he is easily found first by a group of rebels (who he fought alongside in previous campaigns... presumably prior to being imprisoned in the original feature), and of course moments after his former colleagues leave, he is visited by a group of soldiers representing the Men-tel Corporation. Brennick helps his wife and son escape but is eventually captured... and sent back to prison. Didn't see that one coming did you?

Fortress 2: Re-entry steps up the game slightly. In stead of a giant underground prison, Brennick is now held captive within a prison which orbits the Earth 26,000 miles above. Also, the prison Lo-Jack devices are no longer deposited orally, but instead they are injected into the blood stream via the artery in the thigh, and like the original version can cause discomfort to any prisoner acting out of order. However, these new devices can also turn the prisoners eyes into video cameras which allow the warden the ability to see what they are seeing, thus severely inhibiting the ability of the inmates to again, act out of order. Aside from that, this movie offers nothing new from the original Fortress.

Brennick befriends a bunch of other assholes, and then leads us through a very laborious 60 minutes of preparation towards what will prove to be his eventual escape. Fortress 2: Re-entry, is littered with typical prison situations that range from abusive guards who swell at the opportunity to abuse their guests, to your standard asshole inmate hell-bent on just being a douche-bag, right onto a completely incomprehensible cameo by Pam Grier... who must have really needed a pay-check to show up in this one.... talk about falling from grace... didn't she work with Tarantino recently? The Warden who oversees the facility, is practically a copy of the warden in the original movie in almost every way. Physically he looks like the guy (Kurtwood Smith the actor who played the dad on 'That 70's Show', and totally kicked ass as Clarence Boddicker in Robocop), and goes way beyond the call of duty in attempting to act like the man. The more I write, the more I wonder why I even wasted my time?

Christopher Lambert. The man is somewhat of an anomaly. He landed some pretty choice roles back in the day... well Highlander... Highlander 2... not so choice. For some reason, I'm compelled to watch his films. Perhaps it's because I know a car-wreck is inevitable... which in the case of Fortress 2: Re-entry, we are delivered a pile-up that even Ponch and John would weep over.

While I can't recommend that you put this on your bad movie night viewing list... if you do find yourself in the undesirable position of watching Fortress 2: Re-entry... I recommend you fast forward to the prison shower sequences. As I said before... pretty standard stuff, but holy crap there are some really hot naked guys in this movie. I mean women... really hot women.

Hamlin Grade: 1


Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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