The 2009 celluloid masterpiece, Driven to Kill, re-unites us with Bad Movie Knight favorite Steven Seagal.

Like most Seagal films (if not everyone of them), he plays a character whose family is the victim of some form of crime (kidnapping, assault, murder... pick your poison), then wades through scores of bad guys (not unlike the 80's video game Kung Fu), and finally meets up with the main villian or perpetrator of the aforementioned indiscretion against his family, and delivers a 10 minute ass kicking.

In recent years, Seagal has let himself go to such a degree, that stunt men had to perform his fight scenes, but in Driven to Kill, he managed to whip himself into shape (that's a stretch, but go with it... for the record, I'm sure he could beat me to death with his penis) and perform some of his more classic moves... hammer fists, throws, kicks and the ever popular arm break.

Seagal plays Ruslan Drachev, former Russian mobster turned author who returns home after many years to see his daughter get married. Much to his dismay, his daughter is marrying Stephan, the son of his old rival Mikhail. Stephan however, much to his father's dismay, wants nothing to do with the family business, and his intentions are pure. There is much dismay here... until Russian mobsters kill his ex-wife, and nearly kill his daughter hours before her wedding. This of course sets the stage for Ruslan to go on a classic Seagal ass kicking spree.

Teamed with Stephan, Ruslan follows leads, and beats the shit out of everyone in his path. He also goes to town on the Russian mob with an assortment of firearms and explosives, which is a lovely change of pace.

Driven to Kill ends with a typical battle of one against many, until Ruslan is pitted against Mikhail in hand to hand combat. The outcome of course is never in question. Perhaps the biggest annoyance in any Seagal movie is that no matter how bad ass the villain he is paired with, he may as well be fighting a punching bag. Seagal's fight scenes are so one sided it's like watching Tom Cruise at an all you can eat cock buffet.

Much to my disappointment Driven to Kill was not as awful as I had hoped it would be. Seagal managed to put on a good show, and as I said before did return to his roots and hand out some great beatings. Driven to Kill was also one of his more violent movies. No expense was spared on the blood pumps in this one, which is bordering on hilarious considering how many guys he filleted with a knife during the feature, he never had a drop of blood on him (very convenient when being questioned by the police moments after killing a handful of thugs). The two cops who are on the trail of the murder spree (and completely useless, both as characters and actors) are practically rooting for Ruslan throughout the movie.

If you are looking for a throw back to classic Steven Seagal, then Driven to Kill definitely delivers... however if you are really looking for classic Seagal... then you really should seek professional help.

Hamlin Grade: 3


Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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