REVIEW: Dragon Wars - D-War
Dragon Wars - D-War is a prototypical example of a film that embraces the CGI era we now live in. Like many of it's predecessors, Dragon Wars - D-War is loaded with ridiculous special effects.... and little else. Story, plot, direction, acting, or actors themselves rather, are nowhere to be found in this bad movie.
Dragon Wars - D-War as I did state above is blessed with some terrific computer graphic special effects. For most of the film a giant cobra terrorizes Los Angeles as it chases a pair of young adults. In fact the movie's only focus was this serpent, and it's army of followers, which consisted of a wide variety of dinosaurs with missile launchers attached to their asses. Now as off the wall as all of this sounds it actually does look pretty sweet. The sweet however ends there.... unless you are a fellow connoisseur of the bad movie.
At some point during the production one animator must have turned to another animator and said "Hey what actor's are starring in this?", to which the other most certainly responded..."Holy shit! There are actors in this?" I did recognize some old dude in the beginning of this (who set up the story through some very drawn out narration... sadly his explanation as to why I was watching this movie did little to clear things up) but after that the cast is essentially as famous as my mailman..... but without the same level of talent. The cops in this movie are terrific, and I mean that they are brilliantly awful actors. There is one scene in particular when the cops, and the chick are driving in their SUV in an attempt to evade the serpent chasing them.... the guy driving the car is expressionless while his passengers are screaming their heads off..... the director forgot to tell him to act I guess.
The most unusual thing about this movie is the title. Dragon Wars - D-War ? What the fuck is D- War? Dragon Wars I kind of get, except for one thing. There are no dragons in this movie till the final moments of the movie, and there is only one. Granted it's pretty cool, but if you were going to call your movie Dragon Wars, wouldn't you pack it full of them? And seriously.... what the fuck does D-War mean?
Dragon Wars - D-War is actually a pretty decent bad movie. The bad acting is amazingly bad, and the special effects are amazingly good. This film will be one of many that footnote this decade as a time when producers spent their entire budgets on CGI, and payed everyone else involved with their feature in kind words.... or a diet coke.
Hamlin Grade: 5
Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,