What can I say that I didn't say about in my review for the epic sequel to this movie? Well aside from the fact my mom and aunt protested this thing in Chicago and got their panties in a bunch over the depiction of Santa Claus as an axe murderer. The fact of course that it's not Santa but some nutcase dressed as Santa failed to go unnoticed. Also the whole fact that Santa Claus's garb was invented by coke cola and we have what is probably the most controversal film on this site. (Basic Instinct aside)

The film itself is nothing but a slasher with hokey (though strangely credible, depressing and ultimately shocking) psychological depth. Indeed if you read the back of the cover you'd think that this was a character study. Well the story goes like this a little kid is terrified by his grandfather (In an admittedly hilarious sequence) in which the warning "You see Santa Claus tonight, better run boy, YOU BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE" Then we witness a guy in a santa suit (Who just got done robbing a store and shooting the clerk dead.) pulled over at the side of the road, of course the kid's parents stop being that it's Christmas. The santa claus shoots the dad dead and then cuts the mom's throat while trying to rape her. Then the killer calls out for the boy since he's next. Imagine, if Santa would've been successful 12 people would've been spared. So anyway the kid is sent to the orphanage and is abused by the mother superior (Who doesn't bleed at the end of part 2) and so one night after the kid becomes 18, he knocks back a few drinks, thinks he's Santa and basically goes banannas. The 18 year old hangs a guy with christmas lights (I'm still surprised he didn't say "Lights Out fatso!" I mean that would be great) stabs his love interest in the movie, kills his boss, kills more people and basically all in all a true classic for the holidays.

So among the outrage all we have is a slasher flick. A slasher flick which is better than most, and indeed has its moments of power (Santa killing and raping a woman while her son watches is indeed quite disturbing.) but one still doesn't understand why people protested the Santa suit. Indeed had anyone saw the movie, they would've had a lot more to protest.

Still as one of the youths that was meant to be protected from the horrors of this movie (My mom picketed this movie, but still couldn't stop me from seeing this at 12.) we have a movie that puts the ick back in St. Nick and I personally thought this was a perfectly acceptable movie for the family although be prepared to explain to your kids why all the women in this movie wear no bras. Not that i'm complaining.

Also the soundtrack is among the worst ever. Example lyrics? "There are always people who love you and want to kiss you and hug you, and it's always christmas on the warm side of the door" of course this could all be one big metaphor.

So we get decapitations, impalings, lots of boobies,bad acting (Excepting the guy who plays Billy, who is alright), women and their weakling boyfriends getting the crap kicked out of them (See this movie isn't sexist) and two santa clauses gunned down in front of kids. All in all, a perfect christmas movie filled with good tidings and good cheer. The type of movie I watch Christmas Eve with a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pizza and my girlfriend. As I wrote that last sentence I realized, that's pretty much my friday nights and saturdays as well. Oh well, it's always christmas on the warm side of the door.

Hamlin Grade: 6

Ryan
-Board certified professional safety dancer