The Word of Caine
No doubt you’ve heard this declaration many times before and it was most certainly voiced towards the end of a heated conversation, or disagreement.
The word ‘whatever’ is usually fired from the pursed lips of a very hostile woman, or a gentleman that enjoys open mouth diving into other men’s laps.
‘Whatever’ itself has grown in popularity and unfortunately in power over the last decade. It is what many consider a conversation ender, as it requires little more than the use of it to silence an argument, and grant it’s benefactor the belief that they have won the debate with their well placed verbal jab.
I however most assuredly disagree, and am here to excise this false power the word ‘whatever’ has been bestowed. Look at it from my very correct, always right, and fiercely masculine perspective.
When I hear ‘whatever’ during an argument that I am participating in, I know that not only is victory mine, but my counterpart has also stamped my triumph with her approval. You see, when you say whatever, most think they are flipping off their opponent, and securing a win in your vocal battle, this however is not the case. When you say ‘whatever’ you are in fact saying: “Excellent point sir, and forgive me for not being intelligent enough to come up with any more facts to not only prove my case but my own self worth as well.” Saying ‘whatever’ during a discussion of anger tells everyone that firstly, you are an idiot, secondly, your argument was a lost cause before it began, thirdly, that the individual whom you were arguing is correct, and finally that your mother is a big fat cunt, and a whore.
So you see gentleman, (and I say gentlemen, because no brother of mine with an ounce of self respect would ever find that term being launched from their tongue) when you hear someone say ‘whatever’, do not become agitated. They are really just saying that you are right, and they are blatantly wrong. And a cunt.
This is the word of Caine.
Praise be to Caine.