I was extremely bored (I just got laid off and since i'm going back to college to live on the dorm in August, i'll be 25 hanging out with 18 year olds, so I'll have to show them how to drink and party, mainly causing i'm guessing they're strictly amatuers) Speaking of amateur, I just watched Howling II:Your Sister is a Werewolf. Now I did watch this series as a kid and felt quite funny inside whenever Sybil Danning showed those breasts of hers (I saw this like at 7 years old, so right there shows that my parents had great parenting skills.) However when I look back at it, wow what a stinker. I mean you just won't find a movie more badly made, horribly acted, incoherently written and just plain awful. There is actually a part where we see three werewolves engaged in a threesome, not to mention at least 10 times (during the end credits) where Sybil Danning rips her top off. (Which still left me feeling funny inside) What is most nerve racking is that this movie was compulsive in its awfulness, I really couldn't shut it off, I mean this thing was like a bad trip on acid, you just couldn't believe how inept and incompetent this thing was. Would you believe they have a midget who's eyes explode for no reason? Or the fact that the good guys have to plug their ears with holy wax? That werewolves have to be killed with titanium instead of silver (Which is a relief because Titanium is less expensive) that werewolves have orgies? And even more disturbing is that werewolves are fans of really bad 80s music, and even funnier is that the lead singer of the bad 80s group looks like the lead singer of The Fixx (Maybe you don't remember, after one thing leads to another.)

They seriously, and this is coming from a guy who enjoy the cinematic droppings of Michael Pare and Jan-Michael Vincent, they seriously, seriously DON'T GET ANY WORSE than this. I mean whoa momma, it's been a long time since i've seen a movie so awful.

The special effects are also truly awful, I mean we see a really bad alien styled rip off creature, climb out of a rubber head, all of this extremely obvious in its fakeness. Let's not even forget the ending which has Bad Movie Knight favorite Sybil Danning coming on to her screen brother Christopher Lee, for what is the most awkward climax ever. What this has to do with the original The Howling is anyone's guess, i'm guessing that Reb Brown (Another Bad Movie Favorite, did anyone else see the 70s Captain America movies?) and Sybil Danning thought this would help their careers, they were wrong. And the theme song just never stops playing. In fact I still have that song in my head. Howling II is really bad as sequels go, i'm frankly surprised that this gigantic drop in quality could even be allowed for a movie as respectable as the first Howling. All you need to know is that this has Reb Brown, Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning, lots of nudity, bad 80s music and awful special effects. This movie is the prime definition of cinematic abortion that should be avoided if you have taste in movies. (Thankfully My colleagues and I don't)

On the plus side It is very,very,very funny though. I mean seriously not since ROTOR have I chuckled so consistently throughout. So fun-bad is it, i'm surprised Jan-Michael Vincent wasn't in it.

I give it a high rating, not that it's a guilty pleasure, but because it's just so damn hilarious, it's everything you could hope for in a bad movie, The only reason it doesn't earn higher is because I don't like handing out 10s for nothing.

Hamlin Grade: 9

Ryan
-Board certified professional safety dancer