Is this film worse than the following?:

- Cast Away?
- Killer Nun?
- Nymphoid Barbarian?
- Fat Slags?
- Anything that Pat likes?

Oh, and what the fuck ever happened to Fletch? He was funny, even if his signature line didn't make a word of fucking sense.

Worse than Castaway? That's a difficult choice, since there is literally moments where nothing happens in that travesty. The rest I haven't seen so i'm not one to speculate.

Pat has brilliant taste in movies, he just sometimes uses his brillance for evil. The whole Sean Connery as the worst Bond springs to mind as an example. (I mean worse than Roger Moore??? Gayer than Roger Moore?????)

I've come to the conclusion that the reason Roger Moore always looked so smug is because he was secretly fucking Margaret Thatcher in the arse. No wonder he so often looked like he'd been sucking lemons.

As for the whole Sean Connery thing I think he's upset that Michael Caine never got the nod as James. I can't imagine Bond calling Blofelt a cunt, so its probably for the best he never got the role...

It's ironic that England's toughest guy (James Bond) was played to perfection by two Americans. (Connery and Dalton) You see, they just faked the phony accents for the sake of the character.

Which only proves America is is the best at everything, how cool are we? So cool that we piss off South Americans because we call ourselves 'Americans' which is a whole continent, where as you guys are English for England, Canadian for Canada, Mexican for Mexico, we are American for United States of America.

Come on chant with me USA USA USA!

And Pat is the one who made this discovery about Connery, Dalton, Jason Statham and Michael Caine. In that they're all American but put on phony accents to appear british.

So I give credit where credit is due.

That being said David Hasselhoff is really English but constantly sports an American accent that really isn't fooling anyone. So please take him back, huh?

David Hasselhoff is German. No way are we taking credit for that one, amigo.

So Sean 'I have the words Scotland Forever' tattooed on my arm' Connery is a Yank huh? Well then may I take this opportunity to educate the world as to some other famous Americans?:

- Paul Hogan, star of Crocodile Dundee
- That Canadian dude who played the mountie in Due South
- Legendary reggae singer Bob Marley
- Deceased pro wrestler Eddie Guerrero
- The best comedian in the world Carlos Mencia
- Rasputin
- All the slaves that George Washington owned
- The elves that live, work and dance merrily in their tiny villages deep within Donald Sutherland's beard
- Vladimir Putin

This we would expect from a country where all its major movies come from a town that can't even get its name right. But yes, indeed, USA! USA! USA!

"The best comedian in the world Carlos Mencia"

You lobsterbacks hit below the belt well fine if the gloves must come off that it must.

Other famous Englishmen?

Boy George
Roger Moore
George Michael
Iron Lady Thatcher
Yakoff Smirnoff
George W. Bush
Jeb Bush
Condi Rice
Prince Charles
Michael Jackson
Bea Arthur's giant cock
George Takei.
Martin Short

All Englishmen, God save the queen indeed.

I'll take Martin Short and trade you that noble, blue blooded Englishman John Wayne. We don't want that fat, ugly alcoholic slug of a man you Yanks call a legend. He sucked, blew, chewed, sampled, gargled, spat and rinsed. And anybody who disagrees with that comment is secretly in league with the Klan. So there.

Carlos Mencia is in the KKK. He just hasn't had the nerve to tell his tractor-driving comrades that he's Hondouran. Could be worse though - he could be Belgian. Speaking of which...

My country is flooded once again; after the worst rainfall since Noah found his zest for life, I find my roads flooded, my drains overflowing and the skies the kind of choking, apocalyptic grey usually reserved for depressive French poets and the clinically insane. It's like being in fucking Belgium or something. Ironic then, that the big summer blockbuster from your comparatively dry and humid shores be one where a news-reader grows a beard, makes an Arc and rides a tidal wave of richeousness over our squalid, barren and sinful lands.

And yet despite this - the kind of rainfall that would make even fish think that God was a grumpy, drunken old meanie - I cannot help one colourful and triumphant thought from parading through my mind; "I am exactly the same height as Owen Wilson. Therefore I fucking rule."

Exactly the same height, I tell ye. EXACTLY the same...

- D.

Well we'll take John Wayne (And no way is he American up until the trade)if you guys take Jeff Foxworthy, Is that a deal?

As for the legend of John Wayne (and seriously how this guy is a legend over Eastwood or Bronson is just criminal) his real name is Marion, but now that I learned he was English, it all makes sense that this would be the most masculine action star you guys have ever spawned. Seriously even Martin Short is more credible.

As for Mencia being in the KKK, a pretty credible detection especially since his stand up consists of insults towards all minorities and the word 'Beaner' despite the fact he's not even Mexican. What would it take for you guys to take this schmuck of our hands? Actually screw it, we'll just say he's Canadian. That way when audiences clear out (As if a fire had been started) they can say "What garbage?" , "Well what do you expect he is Canadian!"

You boys need to get a room.

PTN... Fletch's sign off is actually a tribute to the movie Dune. If you haven't viewed it in a while.... make some time for yourself...it is spectacularly awful, and great at the same time.