I must admit that Jean-Claude Van Damme is quite possibly the greatest belgian action star to ever play twins in one movie. However what makes such a movie so enjoyable that Van Damme here manages to rise above typecasting and deliver performances so horrifyingly awful that it becomes truly hilarious. Witness the sequence in Double Impact when Jean-Claude Van Damme as the good twin, is asked by the triad boss if he wants to join up, Jean-Claude sits back in the car never speaking until he is forced to. And what comes out of the mouth of this belgian? "Yo go fook YoSell" Not since Tiny Tim's Tiptoe Through The Tulips has their been more unintentionally hilarious poetry.

Anyway the movie's plot (Because you're always obligated to describe such when reviewing a movie) is basically a glorious ode to Dead Ringers. Seriously, it's been said that it Jean-Claude Van Damme to make this movie. However Van Damme failed to realize that Jeremy Irons is a good actor and that he's American as well. So playing twins, especially after giving such performances in Cyborg, Death Warrant and well pretty much everything before or after this, is all in naught. Actually in reality, Jean-Claude was most inspired by The Corsican Brothers, which basically is about twin brothers who are seperated at birth and then join forces to kill the man responsible for their parent's murder. Actually I never read the book or watched the movies, well except for the Cheech and Chong version (The less said the better) and I must admit that this is probably the cheesiest offering you're most likely going to get. Jean-Claude Van Damme playing twins is so funny because the special effects are lame, making it fairly obvious who the stand in is, or for that matter when they are very often not in the same frame, or when one Van Damme is wearing sunglasses. Thanks a lot Jeremy Irons.

What it all comes down is how much action this has, and I must admit that this is all very entertaining, of course the action sequences are far less entertaining than the unintentional acting stretch Van Damme makes.(And he's in every scene) He plays both characters with such exaggerated macho posturing that it was truly hilarious. All of this leads up to a truly hilarious fight sequence between Jean-Claude Van Damme and himself. Van Damme would of course up the ante and fight Dolph Lundgren the next year, but this shows exactly how Van Damme had to overcome himself before he could even try and take on someone twice his size. So after this, is it any surprise that Van Damme pretty much kills everyone and with general ease. Evil twin Van Damme fights Cory Everson (Ms. Olympia) and Good Van Damme fights Bolo Yeung. These are fun fight sequences but what really highlights the fight sequence between Van Damme and Bolo, is that Bolo pushes a barrel at Van Damme, however there is a crease in said barrel, which would indicate that the best defense against a belgian ass-kicker is to basically use foam barrels of gas to ram him. Of course one must remember that Van Damme can jump over you and he will if he has to. I think the reason Jean-Claude Van Damme is my favorite action star is that he jumps over opponents (Here), kills people with their own weapons (Cyborg), Does the splits (Everything he did until 2001) and of course isn't afraid to show that award winning ass of his. Although this time the audience is robbed of such a shot. Part Time Ninja of course got his wish in 1991's Showdown In Little Tokyo, but what of us Van Damme fans. We had to settle of course for witnessing Van Damme do the splits in spandex. Can we say rip off.

Ah yes, Van Damme for my money easily beats Swayze in the Swayze guage, I mean I watched Road House and walked away thinking, a fun movie, Patrick Swayze has a gigantic melmet, good flick. However when it comes to Van Damme I am helpless, much in the same way I am in the presence of Chow Yun Fat. In fact this problem has gotten so bad, that everytime I watch their movies I go out and buy Disco CDs. Scary, I know. However I'm 100% sure that Van Damme and Chow Yun Fat are such supreme examples of what masculine is, that the affection felt towards them, is more vicarious. Well that's what I tell myself anyway.

As for Double Impact, I must admit that this is quite possibly one of Van Damme's most signature roles, One where he shows just how much of an actor he is. In other words he rises to the occasion to not give one bad performance but two. All the while Van Damme's poetry can't be contained in the medium of words although we'll just say, get two bad performances for the price of one, rent Double Impact.

However my favorite part of Double Impact is when I heard the rap song which plays over the credits. Called "Feel The Impact" The song starts out in a very cheesy baseline (Almost disco like) to which really bad bullet sound effects come out and say "HA, get ready, cause i'm gonna even the score, you thought I wouldn't be backvfor more, my aim to true for you to overcome, you don't even know what I hold inside, ha and that's why i'm gonna feel the impact, of my soul! Feel the impact of my soul, feel the impact, feel feel feel the impact!" Which alone guarantees a high Hamlin grade.

So bad movie knights, I give you a cherished artifact of our archive. The movie in which Van Damme played twins. Badly. Now if only we could get Michael Pare to do such a feat.

Hamlin Grade: 6.5

Ryan
-Board certified professional safety dancer