Since the beginning of time, man has sought to uncover the mysteries of satisfying a women. Hollywood has made the task look easy with the invention of romantic comedy. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a sensitive man and not impervious to the sentiments of love stories and the pitfalls that lie therein, especially if I'm provided a few laughs along the way. Unfortunately, just like every other genera, romantic comedies pump out an abundance of mediocrity, only more so. Our focus today turns to one such example in a film entitled Wimbledon.

The backdrop, of course, is set in England at one of tennis's most coveted tournaments. The opening credits had me sharpening my teeth to feast on those prim and proper Brits, as I prepared to count the amount of times the word brilliant is used, or rather misused. You would think the inhabitants of that tiny island from which the English language originated would know the definition of the word brilliant, but alas, they do not. "That crumpet is bloody brilliant!" Where on god's green earth is a crumpet brilliant, and for that mater bloody?!! If I hear that word molested with that silly little accent one more time I'm just going to snap! God I hate Costner! Sorry......association through anger.

Paul Bettany takes the rare step from character actor to leading man in the role of Peter Colt. Peter is an aging tennis pro who appears to be at the end of his career, that is until he crosses courts.....I'm sorry that was just bad, let me try again. Until he crosses paths with a feisty, up and coming American tennis star named Lizzie Bradbury played by Kirsten Dunst. Will this new love interest invigorate his game as well as his libido? Love - Love is the initial score until Lizzie's disapproving father(Sam Niel) enters the picture.

Wimbledon serves up.....I apologize......that won't happen again.

Wimbledon delivers all the typical formulas for a romantic comedy. Yes, the father is the obstacle our young lovers must over come for their love to grow or for there to be any movie at all. There must be more obstacles than that?! Let's throw in a dash of menacing paparazzi with a generous serving of......Now Wait.....that use of serving came along with the cooking analogy not tennis! Oh who cares!

Wimbledon is a highly forgettable movie. Niel mails in his bit part of controlling father. Durst has about as much range as the Spruce Goose which is good enough to portray a spoiled little tennis brat just annoying enough for the viewer to enjoy watching lose. The chemistry between her and Peter Colt is reminiscent of Anakin Skywalker and Padme(who could forget that love affair!) As for Paul Bettany's partial of Peter Colt, well it's nice to get a break from Hugh Grant.

In the end, the story is a complete farce. I mean really an English tennis player making the finals at Wimbledon?!! Sorry chaps, you'll just have to go on pinning those hopes on that scrappy Tim Henman. Scrappy is a euphemism for loser.

Hamlin Grade: 1

Fletch is a killing word!