The Day After Tomorrow. Wouldn't that be two days from today? 48 hours from now? Three days from yesterday? If you are reading this review today, then The Day After Tomorrow would be Friday. But what if you read it Tomorrow? Then the day in question, becomes Saturday, does it not?

Back to the film on the table. The Day After Tomorrow is your run of the mill disaster flick, that really doesn't push the standard any further. The cast is made up of a bunch of forgettables, but does manage to comfort us with notable performances from Dennis Quaid, and a pre-Brokeback Mountain Jake Gyllenhaal. But not really.

An ice age is coming, similiar to the one that has visited this planet in it's prehistoric past, and only Dennis Quaid can save us! Actually he can't. In the Day After Tomorrow, we're all fucked. Quaid plays Jack Hall, a character not unlike the Dr. Keyes that Aaron Eckhart played in The Core..... the lone individual who discovers that the Earth is going to be destroyed, yet lacks the ability to convince anyone of their findings. Hall learns this new Ice Age is coming, and like all socially inept scientists, can't coerce the President (played by Perry King of 80's T.V.'s Rip Tide fame.... I swear I'm not kidding....I had more lines in this movie than he did) to plan accordingly. This marks the first appearance by a Kneel before Zod President since the Bad Movie Knights Glossary term's inception. Isn't also funny that when the shit hits' the fan, none of these doctors ever say 'I fucking told you so'. In fact all of these poor bastards follow the Jor El (Superman's father....Marlon Brando)campaign. Jor El exclaims the planet is doomed, everyone retorts 'Jor El you're high'..... and the planet explodes. Sadly for Jor El, he never had a chance to toss out the ole 'I told you so'. I guarantee he would have told the council what a group of jackasses they were. Two Superman refernces in one review?

Ok, I've really gone on a tangent here. That of course speaks volumes about the Day After Tomorrow (I'm getting really tired of typing out that title) which aside from a really cool multiple tornado sequence that completely destroys Los Angeles (except for a janitor) and a giant tidal wave that appears to come from an ocean just beyond New Jersey (this is a classic Hollywood let's make up geography moment.... a staple of the disaster movie), but regardless of it's origin, NYC hasn't seen a flood of this scale since Deep Impact (that's a movie about a couple of prison inmates).

After that, this bad movie has nothing else to offer. Jake Gyllenhaal's performance as Sam Hall (Quaid's character's son) is forgettable (actually unless he's riding Heath Ledger viking-style in an under-sized tent, the guy doesn't do much for me), much like the rest of the film, and except for a few doses of eye candy. Sam get's trapped in New York, and manages to stave off freezing to death by burning books at the NY Public Library. Nice work Nazi! The remainder of the film, is the Senior Hall's quest to New York to save him, which is an entirely believable journey on foot all the way from Washington D.C.

Ultimately, The Day After Tomorrow, will have you craving for three days from now.

Hamlin Grade: 2.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
pat