Don't fuck with Chuck week continues, by celebrating his first ever starring role in a movie... 1978's classic Good Guys Wear Black.

Like 95% of all Chuck Norris's characters, John T. Booker is a Vietnam veteran. Booker is a former Commando operating to free prisoners of war towards the end of the war. Unfortunately during thier final mission, something goes terribly wrong, and the commando unit is ambushed....almost as if someone told the Viet-Cong they were coming....HMMMM. Don't fuck with Chuck!

5 years later, we've rotated back to the world (thank you Private Joker), and Booker is showing off his many talents as he speeds around a closed course in what appears to be a Porsche. So Booker, is an ex Commando, and a race car driver.....it's Norris so I can believe it. Of course he breaks a few land speed records while neglecting his piece of ass girlfriend who waits by the side of the track. He also further neglects her by telling her that he has a class to teach. What?! Yes, Booker is a professor at a college and teaches a course on the Vietnam War. Commando, Race Car Driver, Lover, and now collegiate educator. Don't fuck with Chuck!

Following his class, Booker's students clear out, and only a reporter named Margaret remains (played by the then total babe Anne Archer). Margaret begins asking questions about his involvement in the war, to which he readily supplies along with a massive helping of his cock. Yep, Booker bags the reporter, and even makes her make him dinner at his place..... that's man power. Now, this is early Norris, or PB Norris (Pre-Beard), as he only sports a police officer's stache, and a peroxide bleached beatles hair cut. This is also the first appearance of what I like to call Chuckscaping. Chuckscaping is the act of letting one's body hair run free like a herd of buffalo across the plains......or in the case a pair of well defined pectorals and abdominal muscles (man I'm filling up just writing this). Don't fuck with Chuck!

Booker soon learns that the men in his former Commando unit are being assassinated one by one. He begins to travel the country to seek out his old team mates, but arrives just in time to see them killed....following a brief exchange of platitudes. Of course while going from city to city, he has Margaret with him, so he does get some sweet loving to ease the pain of losing his men. He arrives in the mountains to warn an ex-commando teammate (who is now a ski instructor), who of course, wants to talk to Booker, following his next run down the mountain. Wouldn't you know, the commando is shot through the chest, half way down the trail. Booker is vexxed. Don't fuck with Chuck!

He and his lady travel to the airport to go home, but he decides to follow a man who looks like an old informant of his from Vietnam and doesn't get on the plane. Margaret and the rest of passengers perish as the plane explodes. Booker's hunch is correct as the man he is chasing turns out to be Mhin Van Thieu (played by Soon - Tek Oh....who was Norris' nemesis in Missing In Action 2), the same informant from the war. Booker turns on the martial arts, and battles the assassin in the baggage area. Mhin gets the better of Booker and manages to get into a vehicle and proceeds to run him down. In what is probably the coolest move ever (and this was his first starring role), Norris jumps in the air, and kicks through the windshield, into the throat of the driver Mhin. Don't fuck with Chuck!

Booker unites with his old pal Murray Saunders (played by Lloyd Haynes) and confronts the Senator who was behind the entire plot to kill Booker and his men. The Senator of course, believes himself untouchable, because he is being promoted to Secretary of State, of some other ridiculously long titled position in the government.....but the Senator forgot one thing. Don't fuck with Chuck!

Good Guys Wear Black, is an excellent jumping on point for the Norris lover. It showcases his best assets, which unfortunatley includes an extended scene in which he parades around in his tighty whiteys......but also showcases his martial arts ability as he routinely beats the shit out of multiple assailants throughout the film. I was going to strike a Hamlin from this movie for the underwear sequence, but I've learned better than to fuck with Chuck.

Hamlin Grade: 7

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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