YEAH!!! FUCK YEAH!!! The Delta Force is Chuck Norris's masterpiece! It comes complete with the full beard, extended mullet, and a theme song that makes you want to take a shit in a terrorists mouth!!!

The Delta Force is an elite team of commandos led by Major Scott McCoy (Norris), and Colonel Nick Alexander (played by Lee Marvin.....The Delta Force was unfortunately his last picture as he died just a year later). The film opens with the Delta Force team retreating to the LZ (that's landing zone to lay person....or loser who doesn't know it) as their night mission was completely botched (we discover why shortly). McCoy is trying to find Pete ( Pete is McCoy's equivalent to the sex slave that rode around on the back of the red mohawk guy's motorcycle in the Road Warrior), and discover's he is trapped in a burning hellicopter, and unable to be rescued. Not unless you are packing a huge cock like Chuck!!! FUCK YEAH! 5 minutes into the Delta Force and Norris is already flexing his muscles. Not only does he walk through fire to get to Pete, but he picks up a jeep that is resting on top of him. Allow me to repeat that. Norris picks up a jeep to free Pete. Speaking of freeing Pete.....McCoy rescue's his friend, and carries him onto the waiting aircraft as it is taking off. While on board, McCoy explains how he knew the mission would fail at night (because most undercover missions don't work in the evening) and tells Colonel Alexander he will be resigning when the return....and resign he does. To raise horses or something.....manly like that.

During his retirement however, an airliner is hijacked by a couple of stereotypical looking terrorist types. In fact these guys are so blatantly terrorist looking, that if they tried to get on plane today, they'd be whisked away to a back room somewhere and anally fisted for months on end! This is 1986, and we love our Palestinian brothers....especially the white suit, white tie wearing, full beard sporting, evil wide eyed, sweat covered brothers of Palestine. Also, the 1980s it was famously easy to plant all manner of assault rifles and pistols on board air craft with the help of a sympathetic airline bathroom attendant (actually since this film, I always check the paper towel rack on plane bathrooms for semi-automatic pistols.....come to think of it, I also search behind the toilet tank for pistols when i'm in an Italian Restaurant bathroom.....you never know). So once on board, our Palestinian passengers, do they old, I have to take a piss routine, and retrieve the weapons from the head....and WHAMMO....we have a hostage situation! The flight en route from Rome to New York is forced to land in Beirut by the terrorists where they separate the Jewish and millitary passengers from the rest of the group and take them to one secured location, while the men from the rest are taken to another.

McCoy it's a go! TAKE'M DOWN!

HELL FUCKIN' YEAH!!! Cue the shit in the terrorist's mouth theme song!!! Unfortunately, the attack has to be aborted, because more terrorists boarded the plane in Beirut.....thus the terrorists have seized this day.....but they forgot the cardinal rule. Don't fuck with Chuck!

The Delta Force Team with the help of McCoy (and heterosexual lifemate Pete) discover the locations of the hostages, and after a sweet ride through downtown Newark, I mean Beirut they relay that information to Colonel Alexander and the rest of the DF! Then it's open season! The Delta Force by the way....all sport black jumpsuits, sweet moustaches, and too cool for the room sunglasses that really complete the porn star look they are going for.

The funniest thing about the ending of this adventure, is that the Delta Force assualts the hostage locations at night. I thought night missions didnt' work? Won't McCoy retire again after this one? Nope. And why not. Night vision goggles! The cornerstone of every evening assault!

Sleep tight sucker!

McCoy drops sweet line after sweet line after dropping bad guy after bad guy. Throw in machine guns, assault weapons, grenades, karate, dune buggies, and Norris's huge cock, and the Delta Force becomes one of the best bad movies ever made! The best part about it.....no Chuck Norris in tighty whitey sequence.....HELL YEAH!

Oh and by the way. Pete dies at the end.

Hamlin Grade: 8.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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