Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 is a lot like American Kickboxer 2 in that it taught me a lot of stuff. I mean indeed I felt like I was back in high school with all the knowledge poured into my brain, of course times are different so despite having brain matter that has turned into a giant turd, the workout on my brain was truly aluminating. (See that, I can't even spell anymore?)

One of the vast things I learned was that, it is possible for a baby to remember his parent's murder. However this happens only to the sharpest of minds and being that serial killers have high IQs, I can only assume a person turns serial killer due to a circumsion that the baby remembers and the pain and humilation to go with lying in a hellish existance while nurses are sticking thermators up your ass and constantly rubbing disinfectant to stop infections from spreading, all this pain experienced by an infant is probable cause for the sociopath in today's society. I know a lot of scientists and doctors would debate this and have all kinds of proof but those guys are dumbasses and if Lee Harry tells me that a baby can remember a murder, this theory is one that shall be held in high regard in credibility.

I also learned that nuns don't bleed. Now I was always aware of the fact that nuns were unlike any human being on this earth, I mean we are talking about women who swear off sex, dress in black and white outfits no matter the heat and take great sadistic pleasure in spanking us kids. We all know that priests are quite fond of little boys but could it be possible that nuns take out their sexual frustrations on us kids who screw up? Normally I'd argue that it takes a lot of faith to give up the good things in life, which is mainly sex, TV and beer but once again this movie proved to be a sinister artifact of what conspiracy lies in the catholic church. I mean very sinister stuff, mainly that nuns don't bleed. Even when decapitated. I was much puzzled at this resolve especially since this is an old sickly woman, as her frail form and old demeanor would indicate. It's equally noticable that she still wears her nun suit even years after retirement, and even though her head is taken from her neck like a wheel falls off an axel, I think it is equally suspicious that there is no blood on her nun suit and that the cutter was dressed as Santa. Perhaps the war on christmas is a conspiracy more sinister then we thought.

Even more alarming are the questions raised by decay of our relationships today. I certainly have seen my share of relationships and although most of them fall apart due to differences, cheating or just because they can't stand each other (Such as always the case with me!). However few have approached the more disturbing then the car attena stranglings that have indeed gone unnoticed. We now live in a more technological time so people now have satelite radios, Also I noticed that Cable TV and players which played tapes became more popular after this movie. In other words people have been using car attenas to strangle their ex for years and it was only this movie that shed some light on this issue. I for one was lost in the abyss of truth that I couldn't grasp without the help of a pill which makes you forget the evil truth surrounding you. Likewise it's truly frightening that with the rise of technology that people have conveniently forgotten the horror of getting your neck squeezed by a steel cord that bends. I think it's obvious that the whole AIDS scare in the 80's was a red herring meant to throw us off the path of the truth exposed here.

Another truly inspirational tone is the story of a man's rage which boils underneath the surface. This guy could be serving you food, selling you shoes or just working at the fast food joint asking if you want fries with that. However the inspirational material is that of a guy who is so tightly wound under pressure that even the gun won't cooperate and give him the death he so solemnly seeks, the gun jams and he gets this all out to his shrink. Clearly this is a message that everybody can be helped with therapy. I also learned that therapy will also cause eye twitching strain which could or could not be a side effect from all the murdering bloodshed you've seen over the years. I personally feel that way everytime I see Paris Hilton or Kevin Federline but my homicidal energy is kept underwraps for the day when I actually get pushed to the point of acting out my violent fantasies on the people I hate the most.

I must admire a man such as this, who is willing to open up and get these important issues off his chest, a shrink after all is the mental fixer upper and it's truly inspirational to see a serial killer such as this get out why his fury was unleashed. He also has a reason most of us can really sympathize with, his girlfriend wasn't a virgin. This is indeed a crushing blow because after all what big breasted, nasal voiced hot blonde chick is easy? I mean how much tang can a hot blonde get? I perfectly understand these motives because I myself suffer from a dilemma which finds me unable to NOT kill anyone who likes Carlos Mencia.

Normally people would say, oh come on it's just a movie. But I ask you can a movie about a killer santa movie contain the true problems which plauge our society? I mean if The DaVinci Code can depict the secrets of Christ, there is no way that this can be coincidence, can it?

So I leave you with this, Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2, a horror movie, or a conspiracy? You be the judge

Hamlin Grade: 9

Ryan