All right, let's start with the premise. The movie takes place in 2024, sometime after the five-day battle known as World War IV. What happened to World War III, you may ask? Now don't start trying to make sense of this movie right from the get go or you're not going to have any fun. We're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with every man out for himself. Wild bands of men are roaming the barren countryside looking for food to eat and women to rape. Rape, you say? Yes, rape. Make no bones about it, rape is the order of the day. Sounds a bit like Mad Max, no? Well indeed, Mad Max and it's subsequent follow-ups were heavily influenced by this film; better, yes, but they owe more than a little bit of gratitude to this film.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The film opens with our star, Vic, played by none other than Don Johnson, creeping up on a band of ruffians raping a woman. A voice is urging him to be careful, take his time. We soon learn that the voice comes from his dog, Blood, the voice being provided by Tim McIntire. They speak to each other telepathically. Let's take a moment and consider that, shall we? They speak to each other telepathically. I considered going no further with this film, but it's so quirky that it quickly draws you in. The film does a great job of only giving you a little information at a time, thereby making you want to hang around for at least a little while to find out what is going on.

So you know one thing at this point, Vic is our hero trying to save a damsel in distress. Wrong. Vic was hoping to get to the woman first so that he could rape her. By the time he gets to her she's already dead and he laments, "Why'd they have to cut her? She was good for two or three more times." Now I'm hooked. And the talking dog (which is never really explained) just doesn't seem strange after long. Besides, he's got the best dialogue in the film. So let's move on, it's time for more scavenging and raping.

Vic and Blood have a symbiotic relationship; Blood need Vic to get the food and Vic needs Blood to sniff out women. That having been said, Blood's needs come first. Vic secures a sack of food and then they're off to the movies. The movies, in this case, are presented in a run-down, fenced in area that shows badly damaged and poorly made porn movies. "Fistful of Rawhide" is one of the flicks that we are treated to. It's here at the movies that Blood smells a woman. It's rape time! Vic follows her to her abode and immediately sets about his attack. Just one small problem; there's a gang of 23 hooligans converging on the same place with the same thing on their minds. Outnumbered? Yes, but Vic's got horniness on his side. He hasn't had a good rape in at least six weeks and that powers him to victory.

Our heroine is Quilla June Holmes, played by Susanne Benton, and she's a tasty little morsel. Much to Vic's surprise, she's into it. "Hey, you're ruining my rape!" As she requests a second go at Vic, Blood mutters, "Once
more into the breach, dear friend." Nice. Blood is obviously not having any of this and thinks Vic's an idiot. Blood becomes even more incredulous as Vic starts actually falling for Quilla. She's trying to convince him to follow her to Topeka, which is down under. No, we're not talking Australia here, we're talking underground. She takes off, and against Blood's best advice, Vic decides to follow.

And this is where things start to get really strange in this movie. I won't ruin the last part of the movie for you, but do yourself a favor and pick up this flick. Once you get down under you're treated to the acting stylings of Jason Robards, and any film with Robards can't be half bad. And the rest of the acting is surprisingly good for such a low budget movie, even Sonny Crockett holds his own. My only complaint is that I wanted this movie to be something more. I either wanted it to be a little bit better or much, much worse.

Hamlin Grade: 6

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