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REVIEW: 2019: After the Fall of New York

From the Post-Apocalyptic collection of movies, comes a work that brings us back to the ABC's of bad movies; none other than 2019: After The Fall Of New York. Our hero, Parsifal (Michael Sopkiw), with his sexy five o'clock shadow, wears a leather headband that holds down a mullet of unparalleled magnitude. No really, it looks as though a dead animal sits upon his head! A small and sexy price to pay to survive a nuclear war. Parsifal is the reigning champion of the Nevada race of Death or "Death Race" (you've got to love it!)

After adding another victory notch to his belt, he is hit by a stun ray (graphic provided by the Atari 2600, nice!). What is left of the Pan American Confederacy has recruited Parsifal, against his will, to infiltrate Manhattan to rescue the only fertile women left on Earth (you got it, just like Escape from New York, but worse, far worse!). A nuclear holocaust has baked the big apple into a shadow of its former self. This is made painfully obvious from the cardboard cutout made to represent New York. It's wonderfully bad! Wearing black fencing helmets and capes, the evil Euraks control the city upon their white steeds with their laser crossbows (no disrespect to Chewbacca, but why is a crossbow necessary in laser form?) The Euraks are so evil, they sometimes unwind by hunting the residents of the island. When this occurs, they will usually enlist the help of mercenaries in the form of the Village People to join in on the carnage. Truly a sight to behold!

To assist Parsifal in his navigation of this deadly gauntlet is Bronx, Pablo Maria Scalondro, who is missing an arm, and Ratchet, Romano Puppo, who's only got one eye. Say what you will, but a hook and a patch look cool! The Needle people, led by the Rat Eater King, will be hard to get past. And The Sewer Dwarfs, are they friend or foe? Big Ape, George Eastman, in his swash-buckling gear and his gang who are donned in the costumes rejected from Planet of the Apes series, look menacing! Let us not forget the evil Euraks! Will Parsifal and his friends survive? Could there be love found in such a desolate place? Getting in was the easy part, getting out may be impossible! 2019: After The Fall Of New York, is the kind of bad movie for which this site was designed! Warning: the dubbing in this film may cause side effects to viewers.

Hamlin Grade: 7.5

Fletch is a killing word!

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