Word of advice. When a 6'4" Austiran knocks at your door and asks if you are Sarah Connor....the appropriate response is "No, she lives next door."

The Terminator, is probably Arnold Schwarzenegger's greatest movie ever, and for many reasons. Let's be honest here, just years removed from winning his 7th Mr. Olympia, Schwarzenegger was a physical specimen that would make most men piss themselves. Stuff him in a leather jacket, some sunglasses, outfit him with all manner of artillery, and give him three lines to speak the entire movie, and you have quite possibly the greatest casting decision since Naomi Watts in King Kong.

While Commando certainly solidified Schwarzenegger's super stardom, The Terminator has to be the initial spring-board. In 1984, The Terminator, which is probably James Cameron's best film, introduced mainstream America to the giant Austrian, and to a story that begged for sequels (at least one anyway...Terminator 3, kind of sucked donkey ass).

The basic premise (which is far from basic), in the future following World War 3, machines had taken over the world, but one human named John Connor, lead the humans to revolt and eventually overthrow the mechanized world. In a last ditch effort to change the outcome of the war, the machines utilized 'time displacement equipment' (a time machine to the lay-person) to send a Terminator (Schwarzenegger) back in time to kill his Connor's mother Sarah prior to his birth, thus erasing his existence, and preventing their power from being overthrown. John Connor sent Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) after the Terminator to prevent the murder of his mother and his subsequent demise.

The Terminator and Reese both arrive in Los Angeles in 1984, and quickly find their way to Sarah Connor. The Terminator drops by the local the automatic rifle shop (of which their must be many in L.A.), outfits himself with the latest hardware, grabs a phone book, and starts visiting all of the Sarah Connor(es) in L.A., and after a quick cup of coffee, puts several bullets in them.....with the 45 Loooon Slide wit DAH LazUH SighTING (you know your weapons buddy, just not how to pronounce them, by the way....when is the Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40 Watt Range going to be available? I'm a 50 Watt man myself, but a 40'll do nicely). Reese, Sarah, and the Terminator all meet for the first time at a club called Tech Noir (yeah I know it, it's on Pico), and thus the chase begins!

Reese finally grabs Sarah, throws her in a car, drives her 125 MPH down the opposite direction of a one way street, holds her back against her seat, and screams:

"Are you injured? Are you shot?
Do exactly what I say. Exactly. Don't move unless I say. Don't make a sound unless I say. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

Incidentally, I do this on all my first dates, after I pick the ladies up. 60% of the time, it works every time.

Terminator ends up becoming a long cat and mouse chase through Los Angeles, where just about everyone that witnesses it, becomes Collateral Damage (another terrific Schwarzenegger film). An entire police station, Sarah's Mom (the cabin at Big Bear Lake), a gun store owner, a shit load of clubbers at Tech Noir, couple of punks that provide the Terminator with his sweet clothes (one of whom was Bill Paxton) all end up dead or critically wounded. The movie climaxes brilliantly in a final battle, that almost seems never ending.

All in all, this is Schwarzenegger's finest hour. The part of the Terminator was perfect for him, because it rarely required him to speak, and all he had to do was look like a bad ass. Until Terminator 2: Judgement Day, a movie that fit him so well was never seen again....and even the sequel shyed away from the original formula as they tryed to develop a personality and a relationship with the Terminator and young John Connor..... I digress. For what it is, this movie is brilliant! When Schwarzenegger speaks.....even better!

Hamlin Grade: 6.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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