Superstar Tom Cruise teams up with Superstar Director Steven Spielberg. What could go wrong in this scenario? Absolutely nothing, provided that you're okay with completely stealing material without so much as a nod to the original. The plagiarism is so blatant as to be laughable. Let's take a look.

We're in the future again, 2054 to be exact, and our world has become a much better place thanks to Big Brother. The police force of our nation's capital (Logan's Run was also set in the same area) has a new foolproof tool to fight crime; three psychics (Pre Cogs) who can predict violent crime. They're in a permanent dreamlike state and can foresee future murders. As a result, the Department of Pre Crime has virtually eliminated murder. Super cop John Anderton (Tom Cruise) is the darling of the department and leads his unit on these important pre-crime raids. Once they've interrupted the crime in progress, the suspect is "haloed" and hauled off to jail. The haloing process puts the prisoner in a catatonic state and he is safely stored away. Can you say George Orwell?

How did John Anderton come to be the department darling? Six years ago, just before the Department of Pre Crime came to be, John's own son was killed and the murder was never solved. As a result, John is the most dedicated officer in the department. But even he's not perfect and has a dirty little secret; John's a hop-head, hitting the pipe nightly and popping in home movies of his late son. Aw, that's so sad. Hmmn, perhaps pathetic is a more proper term.

And drugs are essential to this movie as that is how the Pre Cogs came to exist in the first place. Much like the flipper babies of yesteryear, the Pre Cogs are a result of mothers taking drugs while pregnant. The babies were born with special powers to see horrible events in the future. Most of them died, but three of them, a set of twins named Arthur and Darryl and a female named Agatha, played by Samantha Morton, have survived and have been imprisoned...er, hired to become pre-cogs.

This program is on the verge of going nation wide, and Pre-Crime Director and founder, Lamar Burgess, played by Max von Sydow (ah, we've been Beaned), doesn't want anything messing up his little system. Of course there are flaws in the system and the movie quickly becomes predictable as Cruise tries to unravel the mystery. So let's get on to the plagiarism!

Cruise is a Pre-Crime cop in search of people trying to break the law. Michael York was a Sandman seeking out Runners.

The cops in both movies wear Black outfits.

Cruise is framed for a crime he did not commit. York was forced to run before his time.

Cruise has his eyes replaced by a plastic surgeon to avoid detection. York attempts to have a plastic surgery to avoid capture. (Side note: we've been Beaned again, the plastic surgeon is played by none other than Peter Stormare.)

Both movies have a chase which leads to our heroes hiding in a sex club.

And there's so much more to hate. We get no less than three Cum Sore Its in this film. At one point Agatha tells Cruise, "I'm sorry, John, but you're going to have to run again." No, Agatha, we're all sorry. Then there's the relentless product placement in the film. No class. And let's talk about Colin Farrell for a moment. What has this bitch ever really done? I truly think he's in line for a good smacking around. At one point in the movie, Cruise and Farrell get into a good old fashioned fist fight and I found myself actually rooting for Cruise. "Come on, give him a hair-lip!" Actually, I wish they would both cock-punch each other to death, but that would be too much to ask for.

The humor in this movie is woefully out of character and we are also subjected to a cameo from Cruise's ugly cousin, William Mapother. And here's a plot device I never want to see again; if you've got a piece of damning evidence about something really important, don't go to someone really powerful (oh, I don't know, Police Chief, Government official, CEO of a company) before you've told anyone else about it, and for God's sake, don't meet them alone in their own home. I was happy to see Farrell die, but they could have done so in a more original way.

Minority Report is a decent film if you can overlook the blatant plagiarizing. It certainly didn't want for a budget, clocking in at a cool 100 million. And even Fletch makes an appearance as Cruise’s best buddy. But when all is said and done, I agree with Agatha, "I'm tired, I'm tired of the future." You said it, freak.

Hamlin Grade : 4

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