REVIEW: Medicine Man
Medicine Man (pronouced Medi-shin Man) shtars Sean Connery (who is eashily the third besht Jamesh Bond) ash Dr. Robert Campbell. Deep within the Amashon Rain Foreshts Campbell hash made an amazshing dishcovery. A cure for what he callsh the 'fucking plague of the 20th shentury'.....cansher.
Dr. Rae Crane (played by amazingly irritating Lorraine Braco (Tony Shopranosh Shycologisht)) vishits Campbell in the jungle to determine if the drug company she worksh for should continue to fund hish reshearch. After realizshing what Campbell hash dishcovered, she ish immediately thrilled. Campbell however doeshn't share her enthushiashtishm. While he dishcovered the cure for cansher, he hash be unable to reprodushe the sherum....and ish understandably pisshed off (like the previoush village medishin man he dishgracshed).
Dr. Crane, who Campbell beginsh referring to ash Dr. Bronxsh (due to her origin of birth...very creative) wantsh to help him redishcover the cure. Time however ish not on their shide. Indushtrialishts are conshtructing a road which will passh through village and deshtroy the delicate eco-shyshtem which generated the original cure. Medi-shin Manat shome pointsh bordersh on becoming a save the rain foreshtsh campaign, and depending on which vershion of the movie you shee, beginsh with a 10 minute disshertation narrated by Jamesh Earl Jonesh. Dr. Bronxsh also findsh out that Campbell carries a dark shecret with him, that tormentsh him to thish day. Can she help Campbell find the cure again? Perhapsh.
Shot in lavish (those two wordsh are probably the only onesh that shound normal coming from Connery'sh lipsh) locationsh, Medi-shin Man ish loaded with eye candy (not including the hundredsh of bare native asshesh that are generoushly dishplayed throughout the feature), and the shtory ish compelling. If their ish a cure for cansher, surely it would be found in one of the lasht unexplored placshes on earth, and why not ushe thish film ash a vehicle to promote conshervation? If the cure for cansher ish there, then maybe we will one day find a cure for shpeech impediments ash well? Who knowsh?
Hamlin Grade: 3.5

Timothy Dalton ish the one true Jamesh Bond,
pat














Comments
What a piece of crap this film is. We all know that George Lazenby is the one true James Bond, but who thought Lorraine Braco was a babe? I mean it's clear that she can't act, but who thought she was hot enough to star in a movie? Morons.
Posted by: Big Daddy Yum Yum | November 17, 2006 11:09 AM
OUTRAGEOUS!!! Timothy Dalton is James Bong....while Lazenby is a solid second.
How Lorraine Braco ever became famous is still beyond me.....I'm still waiting for her face lift to collapse on the Sopranos....this season, its gonna happen soon.
Posted by: pat | November 17, 2006 01:35 PM
James Bong! HAHAH...I said James Bong. I wonder if that's been used?
Posted by: pat | November 17, 2006 02:38 PM
Handsh off Braco!! SShe'sh Mine!!
Posted by: Connery | November 17, 2006 05:52 PM
Speaking of bongs, I'm told that there's a movie out there that's right up our alley: Evil Bong. A possesed bong from the 60's is unearthed and wreaks all sorts of havoc.
Posted by: Big Daddy Yum Yum | November 17, 2006 08:45 PM
I'm still laughing at my James Bong joke...holy shit I'm a cut up.
Posted by: Pat | November 19, 2006 11:33 PM
Evil Bong stars the greatest actor of all time Tommy Chong. Big daddy yum yum should have time to review it. It's not like his mom is kicking him out of the basement any time soon.
Posted by: Harry balls | November 21, 2006 01:51 PM
And another fine comment from Harry Balls. Did you study comedy, cause you are cutting edge, Harry, cutting edge. Most comedians have given up on the cheap gay bashing jokes and junior high school humor, but I think a comic visionary such as yourself could redefine the whole genre for generations to come. Well, you know what they say, write about what you know.
Posted by: Big Daddy Yum Yum | November 22, 2006 12:38 AM
Harry Balls does not make fun of homosexuals. Just four foot Turds like Big daddy yum yum.
Posted by: Harry Balls | November 22, 2006 03:17 PM