Welcome to the sexy future as envisioned by filmmakers from 1976. If you're going to make a movie about the sexy future you're also going to need a sexy star. Enter Michael York as Logan. Sexy! When did the world realize Michael York was gay? For that matter, when did Michael York figure it out for himself? Well it was the swinging 70's, so we'll let that go for the moment.

It's the year 2274, and the world is not what it was; "Sometime in the 23rd century...the survivors of war, overpopulation and pollution are living in a great domed city, sealed away from the forgotten world outside. Here, in an ecologically balanced world, mankind lives only for pleasure, freed by the servo-mechanisms which provide everything. There's just one catch: life must end at thirty unless reborn in the fiery ritual of Carrousel." Fantastic!

In the future, everyone is having lots of fun, but they've also become morons. Let's start with their attire. They all dress in shades of red or green. Every single adult. Hooray, it's like Christmas 365 days a year! These costumes make the outfits from the original Star Trek series look hip. Then on their 30th birthday, they gather into an arena where they float to their deaths. It's a lot like the showers at Auschwitz only with an audience. Oh, but don't worry, you'll be reborn. Morons. The smart ones try to flee, but they are inevitably hunted down by the Sandmen. Nighty night suckers.

What's not to like about the future? Everything is provided for these people; shelter, clothing, food, drink, drugs and a sex closet. Wait a minute? A sex closet?! That's right, a sex closet. You just hit the remote and a willing partner is teleported to your chamber. Michael relaxes in his sexy black robe (Sandmen are allowed to wear black because they're special) and presses a button. First one out of the closet is a dude. Michael rejects him, but takes just a moment or two to let his eyes linger. Busted! His next choice is more to his liking, a delicious little treat named Jessica, played by Jenny Agutter. Jessica's fairly reluctant and decides to leave. Could it be because she's got something to hide and recognizes Logan as a Sandman?

Logan learns that there's an underground organization at work trying to help runners flee to Sanctuary. It's a lot like the underground railroad. Um, yeah, except for the fact that every single person in the future is white. He's got good reason to take this organization down as his own life has been fast forwarded by the servo-machine and he is forced to become a runner himself.

Logan's Run is the case of a good story being let down by every element of the film. The acting is sub-par, I've already commented on the costumes, and the special effects are beyond lame. We’re only a year away from the premiere of Star Wars, so you can’t tell me there wasn’t better gadgetry in place. There's a good movie here, but this isn't it. Do look for Farrah Fawcett as Holly 13, an overgrown and falling apart D.C. (straight out of Planet of the Apes) and a climactic fight that William Shatner would be proud of. Also check out the extras at the very end of the movie. One of them holds up his hand in the Vulcan peace sign. I believe he was the only person in this movie that had enough self-awareness to know that it sucked.

But don't worry, this is only Logan's Run I. Tomorrow I shall review Logan's Run II.

Hamlin Grade: 3

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