What do you get when you unite an all star cast consisting of Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, and Elle Macpherson? In most cases a pretty decent movie.....unless that movie is directed by Joel Schumacher. 1997, Schumacher put the final nail into the coffin that was the Batman movie franchise with his second take on the DC Comics flagship character in Batman & Robin.

This was almost the end for comic book based films, and in a sense it was for several years, as Hollywood, and fans decided it was time for a much needed hiatus from one epic celluloid disaster after another. Batman & Robin flatlined the film series with it's fourth installment until it was later revisited as Batman Begins in 2005, and it's resurrection was only made possible with careful execution of the Quickening Principle, by completely (and I mean completely) ignoring the previous nightmares.

Batman & Robin was so overloaded with neon colors, musicals, and bad acting, that it actually made the original Batman movie starring Adam West look dramatic. There was more corn and cheese in this film that it actually starts to look like the last shit I took. Schumacher's explanation for the vivid use of color was that he was trying to give the films a comic book feel.....great idea Joe, that really fucking worked. Nothing makes more sense for a villiain in Gotham than drenching onesself in glow in the dark paint, carry neon nun-chuks, and stand underneath black lights.....all in an effort to hide from the ever watchful eyes of the Dark Knight. Why not wear a sandwich board that says 'Hey Batman, come kick my ass!".

Aside from amazingly bad visuals, Joel Schumacher is a master at directing any acting ability out of his performers. Not since George Lucas, has their been a more accomplished expert at this. Of course Schwarzenegger never had any, but I like to think that Clooney, Thurman, and maybe even O'Donnell had an ounce of artistic ability prior to jumping on the set......and if they did.....Schumacher dragged it out back, fucked it to death, and then shot it.

Batman & Robin represents a footnote in time for comic book movies, and the comic book industry as whole. Not only did the films cease to draw, but the comic book world was collapsing around it. The movie highlights what quite possibly was the darkest hour for comic books, and nearly brought about it's end. There is nothing watchable in this film. Nothing worth seeing, unless you truly want to suffer and throw away 125 minutes of your life. Batman & Robin is so bad, that it's almost unworthy of the Berry. Almost. In fact it is so bad, I will annoint it twice.

Hamlin Grade:

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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