It's Friday the 13th, and what better way to celebrate this day than in 3-D! It's the third part in the epic horror franchise that was named after that most glorious of days. 1982 marked the arrival of the cutting edge technology that is 3-D, and with that arrival director Steve Miner had every excuse to stick everything under the sun and moon EXTREMELY close to the camera. How close, you ask? EXTREME close!

We first meet Harold air-drying laundry. While adjusting the pole to which the line is tied, said poll seems to come right at you. EXTREME! His wife while adjusting the TV antenna gets right up in your grill . . . EXTREME! These useless characters meet a quick and justified death (that's what they get for doing such mundane things in 3-D), on to the teenagers!

At this point in the series, the writers decided to cast away the whole camp counselor scenario and go with a group of pot-smoking, sex-crazed teenagers trying to get it on while vacationing by Crystal Lake. Nice! Shelly, the geeky looser, has been set up on a blind date of sorts with a girl that is way out of his league. He decides to make his play after impressing her by juggling apples to the EXTREME! By this time you have probably guessed that the EXTREME 3-D camera work would be the perfect opportunity to apply one of Yum Yum’s drinking games. You are going to get wasted! Not just buzzed, out of your gourd, head in the toilet wasted!

Okay, back to Shelly. "You know we've gotten to spend some time together (this is one afternoon mind you) and I really like you. I was thinking we could . . ." "I don't think so Shelly. I'm going to go for a walk and when I get back we'll talk." She leaves the cabin and his response is, "Yeah, we'll talk . . . bitch." Perhaps you think he'll make it through the movie being the dorky virgin that he is, but you'd be wrong. He's the first to go, followed quickly by the bitch who gets it from Jason and his spear gun. A nice shot from about twenty yards right into the bitch's eye with EXTREME accuracy! There is that 3-D technology again!

This is where we see Jason for the first time wearing the now legendary hockey mask. After shooting the bitch, he slowly turns around, head drooped and lumbers away, searching for his next victim. His posture and movements reminded me of Eyore from Winnie the Poo. Poor fella, just looking for that worthy adversary to make life worth living. Well, buck up camper, Andy likes to do handstands and walk around the cabin. What a great opportunity to get that machete of yours and swing it down into his groin splitting his body in two. Still not finding that special place Jason? How about a knife through Debbie's sternum ala Kevin Bacon in a hammock from I? Still down in the mouth tiger? I've got it, crush Rick's head so that his eye pops out to the EXTREME! Will Jason find happiness in a 3-D world? Find out when you and your friends enjoy Friday the 13th Part III in 3-D!

Hamlin Grade: 5.5

Fletch is a killing word!