The Red Dawn School of Parenting
How do you prepare your children for World War III? The Red Dawn School of Parenting of course!
Our professional and courteous staff led by our own Principal, Harry Dean Stanton, will teach your children through a variety of proven techniques to better prepare them in case of a Russian invasion. Your children will learn the fundamental principles of The Red Dawn School of Parenting which include:
• Falling off a swingset and not getting picked up
• Drinking Deer Blood 101
• Advanced Radiator Pissing
• Tossing Eagle Scouts through Camp Fires 101
• Homing Beacon Regurgitation
• Turning Tears to Something Else
• Advanced Deer Blood Drinking (Drinking Deer Blood 101 required)
We also provide instruction for parents who wish to give their children that extra edge. Our course syllabus includes:
• Naming Your Children after 200 Year Old Poachers
• Advanced Playground Neglect
• Oral Speaking through Chicken Wire
Classes are filling up now! Don't hesitate! Prepare for the Red Threat by enrolling your kids in the The Red Dawn School of Parenting! Upon graduation all students will receive a radio with a bullet hole in it, and an RPG absolutely FREE!
Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
pat
Comments
WOLVERINES!!!!!!!
Posted by: Thundernuts | September 7, 2006 09:55 AM
I would like a "radio with a bullet hole". sounds like a cool thing to have.
VJ
Posted by: Vijay | September 7, 2006 09:55 AM
Your just a bunch of scared kids......I guess I'm............alone.
Posted by: Fletch | September 7, 2006 10:35 AM
I forgot to mention fireside rape counseling through dishwashing....excellent class.
Posted by: pat | September 7, 2006 02:27 PM