Five dead before the first word is spoken in this movie. Fantastic! Could this be a sign of things to come? Let's hope so. Chow Yun-Fat (John Lee) is a bad-ass killer on some kind of mission. What that mission might be is the crux of this film. We know it's more than just some random nightclub killing spree because just before he starts unloading, he sets a bullet carved with the Chinese characters of death on the table in front of his soon to be victims. Let the shooting begin! Everyone has a gun in this movie, and they use said guns with abandon. This is the first of many very public places that will get shot to hell.

Cut to the funeral procession of the son of Chinese mob kingpin, Terrence Wie, played by Kenneth Tsang. Wie is surrounded by his henchmen, including chief bad guy, Michael Kogan, played by Jurgen Prochnow. Stupendous! We've been Beaned! In case there was any doubt about it, Prochnow's mere presence in this film means there can be no happy ending. But what's this? Who's that watching this procession? Why it's none other than Stan 'Zeedo' Zedkov (played by Michael Rooker, he of Rowdy Burns in Days of Thunder fame.) Suddenly this movie has all sorts of bad acting potential.

But let's get back on track here. Lee kills for Wie. Hey, that rhymes! But it doesn't jive. Chow Yun-Fat playing an amoral bad guy? Say it isn't so! It's not. Wie is holding something over Lee's head, namely the lives of his sister and mother back in Shang Hai. But if Lee will kill just one more of his enemies, Wie will set him free forever. With a fresh new funky bullet (really, is there a better calling card for any mobster worth his weight in salt?), Lee heads out for his last mission. Through the scope of his rifle we see that the intended victim is none other than Zeedo himself. Or is it? Lee won't take the shot. Is it because Zeedo's wife and eight year old son are also in the vicinity, or is it because the actual target is the son himself? Wie, you inhumane bastard!!!

Lee knows that you don't let Wie down without some kind of consequence. He rushes to his Buddhist friend, Allan Chan (played by Matrix Keymaker Randall Duk Kim), and gives him some money to hide his family, but this is only a
temporary measure. Lee needs to get back to Shang Hai himself if his family is to have any long term hope of survival. Hmmn, a passport would be useful in a situation like this. Well, I guess it's time to go visit the passport forger. Meg Coburn (Mira Sorvino) supplies the talent for this role. Gee Mira, what kinds of roles should you be taking now that you've won an Oscar? Passport Forger in a sub-par action movie? Yes! They've barely begun the process of producing the passport when a bunch of baddies show up and shoot the place all to hell. The good news is that Meg also has a gun and isn't afraid to use it. And everyone in this movie has one of those special guns that never need reloading. Outstanding!

After being interviewed and released by the police (Oh great! Now they not only have to escape Wie and his henchmen, they have to stay away from the police as well), Meg returns to her shattered home only to find Lee waiting for her. He still needs that passport and he won't take no for an answer. Meg becomes his hostage. Meg also has the best car ever. This thing takes more bullets than Bonnie and Clyde and just keeps running. Did I mention that we shoot up a whole car wash in the process? No? we shoot up a whole car wash in the process. As a result of their second escape, Wie decides it's time to get serious and hire some professional killers. The Replacement Killers! Hee, hee! Nothing made me laugh as much as when they show up on the scene with the slow motion walk towards the camera. Up until now our henchmen have been pretty unremarkable (side note here; for those of you considering going into the henchman business, unless you're Dolph Lundgren, having short platinum blonde hair doesn't make you look bad-ass, it just makes you look expendable), but these two are a sight to behold. From a distance one looks like Howie Long's anemic brother and the other looks like Ben Stiller on steroids. Hey, now that the second guy is getting closer, he kind of looks like...no...could it be...yes! It's Danny Trejo! Hee, hee, we've been Beaned again! Just in case you weren't positive that these two are really bad, after they miss Meg and Lee the first time, they calmly wait around and put a copious amount of bullets into the two cops who arrive on the scene. Evil, evil!

With our replacement killers on board all we need is a new public place to shoot up. How about a busy arcade? No? What about a movie theater? Still not good enough? Perhaps a restaurant will suffice. As I stated earlier, this movie never met a public place that it didn't feel needed more ventilation. And that's my main problem with the movie. Granted, the storyline is thin to begin with, but using the same destructive device over and over again in the same way gets tedious. Mix it up a little bit. Surely they could have found a few different ways to off the 37 characters they kill in this film. I wanted a specially decorated bullet for my own head by the time this movie came to a close.

Hamlin Grade: 3

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