Brokeback Mountain is the story of two cowboys who while isolated for a summer lay the tracks (among other things) for a relationship that will span the remaining years of their lives. A relationship that will overcome the obstacles that will penetrate their lives, including prejudice, vagina, marriage and kids. Brokeback Mountain while being one of the more controversial films to be splattered onto the big screen (mostly because of the 18th century, bible thumping, Jesus freaks who have refused to wake up and smell the new millenium) does engage the viewer, and offer us a long, hard, deep, look into a lifestyle not often portrayed in Hollywood cinema (not counting the films of Tom Cruise). However, rather than enlighten, I think Brokback Mountain did little to stroke the cause of the homosexual community, and in my opinion may have pushed back the movement decades. Do I agree with the critics that this movie was controversial and perhaps offensive? Yes, but not for the reasons these imaginary diety worshippers do.

Brokeback Mountain for all intents and purposes, was simply not gay enough. When I gently inserted this dvd into my player's ample opening I had expectations, while perhaps too endowed, that were just not satisfied. Cowboys Ennis (played superbly by Heath Ledger), and Jack (played by Jake Gyllenhaal also exceptionally well), are hired to tend sheep on a mountain side of Wyoming for the summer season. A tent, two cowboys, a limitless supply of whiskey, and a mountain full of sheep. Is it me, or are the ingredients available perfect for a Club Med like summer? Fletch and I have had success with much less! While being handsomely well supplied, Ennis and Jack's relationship takes time to reach its full climax......however when it does, it is anything but climatic.

Where's the cock? Given the setup for this summer, I bet even the ranch owner (played by Randy Quaid) would have expected some more action, from these handsome, strapping, young men. Brokeback Mountain should have been nothing short of an avalanche of cock and dead sheep....either from neglect, or through multiple evenings of adventure and experimentation spurred on by whiskey. The end of the summer should have seen these cowboys returning with 3 living sheep, an empty flask of hooch, and a glint in the eye. But this was just not to be.

For the remainder of their lives we watch as they endure the hardships of heterosexual intercourse, and the nightmare of having to raise children (imagine 9 months of terror, followed by an endless nightmare from which you can never wake) .....all the while longing to be with one another. Ennis and Jack do manage several rendezvous, but nothing in comparison (so they tell it) to their summer on Brokeback. Even though they return to the original location where they first deposited the seed of their relationship....it is a sad facsimile of what could have been. Their lives are severely hampered by a society that will not accept them....so they are forced to swallow...their emotions and live a lie.

As far as Wyoming and Texas in 1963....can we really say that these two states are any different today? If anything they are probably worse. The most heated debate today is 'gay marriage', which has got to be the most ridiculous topic to argue, since slavery (which is actually condoned in Exodus 20:1-17, Deuteronomy 15:12-15; Ephesians 6:9; Colossians 4:1). What's funnier still, is that the South is once again the front runners against said union....and why? Because the bible tells them so. So to sum up.....Homosexuals may own slaves, but they cannot marry one another. That makes sense.

In Brokeback Mountain, Director Ang Lee must have hit a nerve with this movie by exposing the true nature of cowboys. While carrying themselves as tough masculine icons, I think everyone not living in the mid-west knew that these guys were craving cock. Your secret is out fellas....you can be yourselves now.

Brokeback Mountain in all fairness, is not really a bad movie. In fact, it is an excellent film, with great actors, and a superb story. Then why I have I reviewed it for Bad Movie Knights? Firstly, because I know it will piss off all of you mindless, church going automatons....and secondly, because the gay community kicks ass! I pine for the day when my admiration for Patrick Swayze will be celebrated, rather than shunned and persecuted.....till then there is Brokeback Mountain.

Hamlin Grade: 6

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
pat