There was a time, long ago, when I was thrilled that Hollywood mined the comic book industry for potential feature films. Whatever the project, as long as they supported the comic book industry, I was happy. That renaissance ended when Joel Schumacher decide to stick his dick into the Batman franchise, and all but exterminate the comic book to big screen lifeline.

In recent years, a new golden age has dawned for us comic book fans, as this unappreciated art form is once again being used as the inspiration for motion pictures. With the success of the Spiderman, and X-Men franchises, Hollywood has re-ignited its love affair with the funny books. Batman Begins, and the new Superman movie have further cemented a foundation for comics and graphic novels which will hopefully continue to strengthen for years to come...provided they do two things. Never, and I mean never, let Joel Schumacher direct another comic book based feature. And, most importantly, never make another comic book movie based off of a shitty comic book...case in point....V for Vendetta. But most importantly, never let Joel Schumacher direct ever again. Ever.

V for Vendetta was a painfully tedious read. The story went no where, and the art did little to inspire. The graphic novel was so awful, that frankly I couldn't finish it. Alan Moore fans will attack me and say I didn't get it, but to them I say what's to get? He basically ripped off the novel 1984? The comic is nothing more that a glimpse at an alternate future of what England may have looked like if the Nazi's won World War II. A government run by facist assholes, who control the public through fear, oppression, and propaganda. Ooooh ground breaking stuff!

As a movie, V for Vendetta is at least true to the comic book, in that it is just as tedious and painful to watch. Holy shit talk about boring. Aside from a few kick ass fight scenes with V (the main character, I will get to him briefly) and some finger men (the future equivalent to the Gestapo), this movie was a train wreck on a scale that M. Night Shyamalan couldn't hope to achieve,.... oh wait, yes he could (and has). One could hardly argue with me, because Alan Moore himself, completely removed himself from the film, and his name had no mention anywhere in the credits. Moore apparently wanted nothing to do with the movie project, and Larry Wachowski the director, in later press releases had stated that Alan Moore was very excited about the project and generally endorsing the film. So Larry lied, and Moore is stubborn jackass. What doesn't change is the fact that the comic book and the movie both still sucked ass.

The only saving grace of V for Vendetta, is the main character V. You never see his face, as it is hidden behind a 'Guy Fawkes' mask the entire movie, but his voice is chilling, and silmultaneously charming. Not knowing who it was prior to viewing the film, I soon recognized it as Hugo Weaving (I actually didn't know his name either, until today I always referred to him as Agent Smith) , the same gentleman who brilliantly portrayed Agent Smith in the Matrix movies and the old elf dude in The Lord of the Rings. Draped in a cape and 'Three Musketeers' outfit, V is essentially a gay Batman. I mean that in the coolest sense (there is also this underlying government persecuting the homosexual community theme which could have been a clever stab at our current government, but I was so lost in the poorness of this film that any message sent was lost). His fight scenes are like a dance, and he tosses knives at his adversaries while spouting Shakespeare. The cool factor begins and ends with him. Perhaps if they spent some more time focused on him and his crusade rather than trying to pillage novels of old, the movie would have been moderately entertaining. V for Vendetta went so far as to actually steal the evil leader on a big screen theme (John Hurt plays Chancellor Adam Sutler, who is viewed almost entirely from a giant screen) from the old Apple Computer commercial that first introduced us to the Macintosh during the 1984 Super Bowl. The funny thing is, V for Vendetta is nothing more than a ripoff of that commercial that aired in 1984, and was inspired by the George Orwell novel "1984". I managed to find a link to that commercial so you can view it for yourself here (and save yourself the time of sitting through this giant pile of horse shit). So essentially Alan Moore is the English equivalent of Quentin Tarantino. Rather than stealing his ideas from Asian cinema of the 30's and 40's, Alan Moore rapes the halls of classic literature.

V for Vendetta at the end of the day is nothing more than a collection of old ideas, history and current events, packaged within some plagiarised literature and regurgitated onto the big screen in an failed attempt to deliver a message. The message? That you just got fucked out $10 and 133 minutes of your life.

Hamlin Grade:0

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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