It was only a matter of time before we got around to sinking our fangs into Don 'The Dragon' Wilson. Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel give us our first (and hopefully last) glimpse of this amazing martial arts superstar and actor (and I use that term ridiculously loosely).

Many of you are probably wondering why I didn't first review Ring of Fire 1 (and many more still are probably wondering why I submitted myself to this 94 minutes of auditory and visual rape) in favor of it's sequel Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel. Well there is an excellent reason for that my friends.

About one month ago I was perusing the No Retreat No Surrender (this is the bad movie that launched Bad Movie Night, and our current #3 all time bad movie) cast list and exploring these stellar thespians film accomplishments. Much to my dismay, No Retreat No Surrender was the first, and last time many of these superstar performers ever graced the big screen. Aside from Jean Claude Van Damme and a handful of others, the rest of the cast has been swallowed by the maw of obscurity.

One actor, however, not only survived to act again, but has persevered within the Hollywood community. This gentleman's name, Dale Jordan. Mr. Jordan was made famous by his portrayal of Dean Ramsey in No Retreat No Surrender, the true nemesis of our hero Jason Stillwell (I argue that it was he and not Van Damme that was Jason's greatest adversary in NRNS, due to Van Damme's limited screen time, and the undeniable fact that Ramsey kicked his ass throughout the film). No Retreat No Surrender, although quite possibly his crowning achievement, was certainly not his last. Enter Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel. Obviously satisfied that he had conquered the world in front of the camera, Dale Jordan sought out new challenges that ultimately brought him behind the scenes. Mr. Jordan has since become a Pornography Director the likes of which Ron Jeremy would even admire. If you have the time and patience, I highly recommend a viewing of Dale Jordan's filmography. The titles of some of the movies he has inserted his emotion into are the stuff from which legends are forged.

Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel gets started by quickly re-uniting us with Dr. Johnny Woo (played by the great Don 'The Dragon' Wilson) and his fiance Julie. I say re-unite, because everyone here has certainly seen Ring of Fire 1 right? Of course you have. While debating potential destinations for their honeymoon in a jewelry shop, a band of armed assailants conveniently arrives to set the tone for what will clearly be an excrutiantingly painful hour and a half. Typically, they begin by shooting the manager who tries to sound the alarm, stealing some merchandise, and then firing at random customers (including Julie) before hitting the bricks to their escape vehicle. From moment one, this is where Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel begins it's unabashed theft of other films. Julie getting shot in front of Dr. Woo is nothing more than a replay of every Death Wish that Chuck Bronson ever starred in, and of course, Dr. Woo, much like Chuck responds with deadly force. Kicking all hell out of the bad guys, and sending one of them to the ER. This particulary bad guy is the brother of Kalin (the bad guy) and like a plot ripped from Patriot Games, pulls the vengeance card on Dr. Woo. Plot twist!

After a long hard day of crescent kicking guys in the abdomen, Dr. Woo enjoys washing up and prepping for surgery where he can ironically enough, repair the damage done to Kalin's brother, and his fiance Julie. In recovery, much to Dr. Woo's and our relief, we find that Julie is going to be okay. Enter the Mullet Brigade. Dr. Johnny Woo has a posse. These rejects from an 80's breakdance movie arrive to lend their support to Dr. Woo, and Julie. Brad played by the immortal Dale Jordan is one of keystones of this moral support group. After a brief exchange of unmoving and pointless sentements they leave Julie to rest. Dr. Woo then runs into Kalin as they try to remove his brother from the hospital on a gurney. A fight ensues and Kalin accidentally sprays his brother liberally in the face with bullets from his uzi. This misunderstanding sets the stage for the rest of Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel. Enraged by the death of his brother, Kalin responds in kind by kidnapping Julie from her room and taking her to the underground.

This is where Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel kicks its plagiarism into high gear. The rest of this movie is a carbon copy of the 1970's classic The Warriors. Dr. Woo enters the underground (essentially the sewers of Los Angeles house an entire population of people) where he must fight through wave after wave of 'themed' gangs. Many of the gangs are exact duplicates from The Warriors, including a group that ride on skates, and skateboards, and another, that could have been 'The Lizzies'. The icing on this cake is the underground DJ that gives periodic updates on the progress of Dr. Woo, and also announces the bounty that will be given by Kalin for the Doctor's capture. Blatant ripoff.....and a poorly executed and watered down one at that.

Dr. Johnny Woo, eventually finds his way to Kalin's inner sanctum, which is a small arena where men can fight to the death. Kalin at this point has not only the kidnapped fiance, but now has captured the Mulleteers. Throughout, we are treated to brief glimpses of this little sanctuary, where men with considerable fighting ability are dispatched while Kalin watches on doing his little emperor of Rome thing. Dr. Woo's arrival is the battle we've all been waiting for, and boy does it deliver. Not really. To sum up, Dr. Woo and the Mullet gang save the day, and walk off into the sunset....via that old LA reservoir that is in pretty much every movie that is filmed in LA.

Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steel overall is a decent bad movie, in that the acting across the board is dreadful and the story, while pillaged from a library of other movies, still manages to be terrible. The fight scenes are a little disappointing, which is a shame, since this is really why the movie was made. To showcase 'The Dragon'. That's like making a movie with Kevin Costner and never showing his giant head. Had it not been for the amazing acting and emotion displayed by Don 'The Dragon' Wilson, Ring of Fire2: Blood and Steal may have been lost. I'm just fucking with you. As a martial artist he does beats down all manner of bad guys and gang members...his acting....we are the ones who receive the beat down for watching it. Don you may be 'The Dragon', but your acting.....is 'Torture'. Oh sorry. 'The Torture'.

I was going to really be harsh on the grading here, but the hairstyle's alone deserve the extra Hamlin. Guys, the movie was made in 1993, not 1983. Drink everytime you see a mullet, and you will be wasted before the credits finish rolling.

Hamlin Grade: 3

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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