Let us blast open the doors of Stallone week with his 1985 smash hit, Rambo: First Blood Part II! For this film, Stallone put on his writing cap to collaborate with a little known filmmaker at the time, James Cameron. Sly knew a good thing when he saw it, and reviving his character from his modestly successful film (First Blood), created job security for the next decade and put him amongst the legends of bad Hollywood icons.

We find our hero John J. Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) oiled up doing hard labor in a maximum-security prison. Enter the only man he trusts, his mentor from the Vietnam War, Colonel Samuel Trautman, played by the late great Richard Crenna. A reconnaissance mission is planned to find POW's in Vietnam, and Rambo is one of three men qualified to complete the task. Rambo reluctantly agrees and asks, "Do we get to win this time?" Does this movie have a political agenda?

Rambo is flown into special operation headquarters where he is met on the airfield by Sensei of the Cobra Kai, John Kreese played by Martin Kove (see Karate Kid). This is an immediate indication that strange things are afoot at the Circle K. Sensei John Kreese leads Rambo through a totally unimpressive hanger filled with giant boxes that have lights which keep beeping and flashing and beeping and flashing....obviously Eighties suppa computas that also use reel to reel recording. Impressive! Most Impressive! Here he meets Colonel Trautman and head of operations Marshall Murdock (Charles Napier). Murdock tells Rambo that all these suppa computas are for him and his mission. Let's see, Sensei John Kreese; strike one, Eighties suppa computas; that's strike two! Murdock sits down and reads off a dossier for the audience to familiarize themselves with our hero, "Rambo, John J. born 7-6-47. Of German-Indian decent, hell of a combination. 4 silver stars, 4 purple hearts, a Distinguished Service Cross and a congressional medal of honor. Got around didn't you son." Murdock reassures him that with the state of the art weapons they will provide, his mission should go off with out a hitch. At this point Stallone delivers a line that only he could make comedy gold, "I always thought the mind was the best weapon." As Trautman accompanies Rambo to the airfield to see him off, Rambo turns to tell him that the second battalion that Murdock said he was with in '66 was not stationed where he said they were. Well I guess the mind is the best weapon! That's strike three, and the man hasn't even left headquarters.

While making his parachute jump, Rambo gets hung up on the plane and dragged. His only way of surviving is to cut away all that state of the art gear he has with him. Now Rambo's only weapon is a ridiculously large hunting knife. Oh yeah, and his mind! Back at HQ, Murdock is obliged to cut his losses, but Trautman won't have it and will eventually insist on being a part of the extraction team. Meanwhile, Rambo meets up with his field operative who turns out to be a young desirable Vietnamese female named Co Bao played by Julia Nickson. Mrs.Nickson's performance with that terrible broken English is the stuff that inspired the creation of Bad Movie Knights!

The boat ride up river to the camp gives these two a chance to let their love grow, which is, perhaps, the funniest part of the movie. Check it out- Co Bao: "What mean expendable?" Rambo: "It's like when someone invites you to a party and you don't show up....it doesn't really matter." Rambo then inquires about her necklace. "It bring me good luck. What bring you good luck?" Rambo shows her his very large knife. You people have dirty minds, it really is a knife and it's quite clean. Finally they arrive at the camp and there are POWs there after all. Rambo can't just snap a few pictures as he was ordered to, he is a man of action. He is able to take out four guards, rescue one of the prisoners and slip quietly into the night undetected. At daybreak the camp discovers the bodies and sounds the alarm. The chase is on! The boat ride back to the extraction point provides some blistering action providing a body count of thirteen within five minutes and Rambo is able to show off his big shinny blade! No, it's not code for something else it's just a knife!

At any rate, Rambo and Co Bao part ways, and she expresses her deep admiration for him, "You not expendable." Que a single tear. The Vietcong catch up with Rambo and the POW near the extraction point. Mortars, gunfire, explosions, all hell is coming down on them...but what's this? Sensei John Kreese, suspect agent #2, and Colonel Trautman in a helicopter! Troutman spots Rambo and the POW andc utters, "Christ, he's found one." You've got to love Crenna's delivery! At HQ Murdock hears this and immediately gives orders to abort the mission. This won't do for Trautman, and he demands that Sensei John Kreese land the helicopter. At this point suspect agent #2 pulls a gun on Trautman and tells him not to be a hero ( I'm not kidding.) With Rambo almost within reach, Sensei John Kreese pulls up and flies away. The Vietcong now surround our hero and take him prisoner.

Remember it's the eighties and there is nothing more evil then the red threat. Meet Russian soldiers led by Victor Maitland (Beverly Hills Cop) played by Steven Berkoff! Dark skinned, Capricorn, you know Victa! Upon their arrival, the Vietcong raise Rambo out of a leach-infested mud-hole to give us Sly's gratuitous ass shot. Apparently Sly and Costner have some sort of on going bet as to who can show their ass more on the big screen.

"I see your no stranger to pain." Let the torture begin! The Russian's interrogation methods are electrifying! "You may scream, there's no shame." How in the world is Rambo going to get out of this one? Bet you're also wondering what happened to Co Bao. Well, she just infiltrated the camp as a whore, but her mind is not on whoring. The rescue is a success and Rambo and Co Bao (say it with me Rambo and Co Bao...feels good doesn't it?) are reunited, but alas, not for long. Co Bao catches a bullet or two and dies in Rambo's arms. When something dies another something is born, and in this case that something is Rambo giving birth to a killing spree the likes of which has rarely been matched on screen. Now, we are treated to a priceless scene of Rambo's preparation for making war. Tight shot of Rambo shafting that huge knife of his(I promise I won't mention that God damn knife again!) Back shot of him flexing as he ties his head band around that beautiful mullet of his. That good luck necklace of Co Bao's is now Rambo's choker. Finally, Rambo grabs his bow and strikes a pose as if gazing to some far off place. We are are ready for war!

The rest of the movie is nonstop action with Rambo rescuing the POWs and destroying everything in sight. When he makes it back to headquarters he knees Sensei John Kreese in the balls! The end. This time we won!

This movie is a perfect example of Stallone's ego on display. What I had failed to mention is throughout everything I have just described the man is oiled up and shirtless. "Yo check me out I'm ripped!" Yeah, we get it. You will find this an on going theme in the wonderful world of Stallone!

Hamlin Grade: 5.5

Fletch is a killing word!