Men and women alike are powerless against the force that is the Swayze. This force is the essence of the The Swayze Gauge. The Swayze Gauge is a simple yet effective test, proven to determine one's sexuality.

The Swayze Gauge involves viewing the Patrick Swayze masterpiece Roadhouse, and being able to withstand the 114 minutes of non-stop, pure, uncut, unadulterated, steaming hot, serving of Swayze which will be ladled upon you. That 115th minute will be magical, for you will know without a shadow of a doubt whether you are heterosexual, or homosexual.

Does Swayze have you? You bet he does.

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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