In the spirit of Cruise week, I went to my local Blockbuster to pick up the latest DVD release of the Top Gun series. Refusing to rent anything due to my traumatic experience during Costner week, I headed straight to the movies for sale section. $14.00?! Are you kidding me?!! I'll have to save my anger of the evil empire known as Blockbuster for another time.

Now, let me refocus on my hatred of Tom Cruise and his undying efforts to perfect the roll of Maverick. As I'm flipping through the rows of movies I came to realize that Mr. Cruise had a prolific year, releasing no less than two new Top Gun movies. I just couldn't do it! I've loved Michael Man's work in the past, but the few moments I spent viewing his collaboration with Cruise in Collateral made me wince. It's one of those movies you piece together in five minute clips that you are eventually able to put in sequential order because HBO (it's not TV, it's really bad TV) refused to play anything else during the month of February. I'll have to pass this review to Pat, but I won't blame him if he refuses. Instead I reluctantly purchased War of the Worlds.

The comments I had heard were pretty much the same: "The effects were pretty cool." Hearing these words related to a film that stars an actor with one of the hugest craniums in Hollywood inspired hope. Cruise returns to play the roll of Maverick under the direction of Steven Spielberg.

We find the middle-aged Maverick working the docks loading and unloading shipping containers; quite a fall from the one time jet pilot hero and NASCAR champion. He's divorced, living alone, except for those few precious days he gets with his two kids every once in a while. Surprising he couldn't hold that marriage together ...I wonder why? Could it be because he's gay? Daddy Maverick has to take care of his estranged kids the same weekend aliens attack earth...is Spielberg a genius or what?. In a fifteen minute intro, Sir Steven has eliminated any hetero masquerade Maverick may have to carry throughout the duration. Bravo Sir!! Unfortunately, that does not spare us from Mr. Cruise's bad imitation of a world class sprinter. In the original Top Gun, cool the guy is in a fighter jet, no problem. Ever since, the rentals of millions of dissatisfied viewers have been subjected to the excessive sprinting of Maverick. One would think that in a panic situation (oh, I don't know, like maybe being attacked by four hundred-foot tall robotic killing machines) one might falter, fumble or even trip. Obviously you don't know Maverick, who is unfaltering and runs like a gazelle (hands in a karate chop position for aerodynamic efficiency.) The need to show this man sprinting in virtually every movie he's been in may warrant a glossary term.

At any rate Spielberg is able to entertain with destructive eye candy (his time invested in the making of 1941 has finally paid off) while keeping Cruise's Oscar thirsty dramatics to a minimum. If you want no story, lots of action and some sub par acting this is your flick!

Hamlin Grade:1

Fletch is a killing word!