This movie should have been titled For the Love of Christ. I don't think you could possibly find a more self-indulgent piece of shit bad movie anywhere in Hollywood. Costner. We get it. You like baseball. Get over it.

For Love of the Game offers us a glimpse of Detroit Tigers pitcher Billy Chapel's (played by Kevin Costner) career in what is most likely his last game. It almost goes without saying that this film clearly defines The Costner Club. First flaw in this movie, made in 1999, probably the height of the Major League Baseball steroid era, most 20 year veteran's careers are just starting up, not winding down. Ok, let's imagine, that Billy Chapel, is the one player in baseball who doesn't take steroids (i know that is a serious leap of faith, but as always, suspend disbelief), and his hall of fame career is almost over.

For Love of the Game basically shows us an entire baseball game, which leads us to the second flaw of the movie. When has a baseball game ever taken only 2 hours and 18 minutes to play? Unless we are blessed with a rain delay, expect to lose a sizeable portion of your day (pack a lunch, book, change of clothes, and all the vaseline you can carry).

Is For Love of the Game just a movie about baseball? Of course not. It is also a love story (terrific!). Peppered throughout the movie, are flashbacks of Billy Chapel's love life with the lovely Jane (played by Kelly Preston). Chapel's relationship with Jane has fallen apart and while pitching he mulls over where he and they went wrong. This emphasizes my point about how much this sport sucks the donkey ass. Baseball has always been described as the 'thinking man's' game....why? Because if you don't think about something else you will be pummelled into unconciousness through shear boredom. Prior to what is going to be Chapel's final game, Jane (total bitch that she is) says she's leaving him. Couldn't have waited till the end of the season huh? Had to make sure you he crashed and burned in front of all of New York Yankees Stadium? Well this one backfired on you Jane!

If you aren't already asleep at this point, you will find that Billy Chapel with his heart on his sleeve discovers through his endless thinking, that he is a few outs away from pitching a perfect game. By the way, for the record, a perfect game in baseball is when no one get's a hit. That is excitement! Anyway, Billy Chapel finishes off the perfect game then races to catch Jane at the airport before she leaves him. If you weren't asleep you will be now, in fact I highly recommend this bad movie for those with insomnia, and constipation.

The one thing For Love of the Game does accomplish is that in the end it is excrutiatingly more boring than an actual Major League Baseball game. If given the option, I would watch a baseball game over this animated self portrait of Coster's giant head and ego. If there were a third option to receive a kick to the crotch from a horse....well, you know where I'd be.

Hamlin Grade: 1

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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