REVIEW: Days of Thunder
Tom Cruise is back as Maverick in the fast paced thriller Days of Thunder! Our salute to Gay Pride Month, and Tom Cruise Week continues!
In this sequel to Top Gun, Maverick finds himself in the fortunate situation of a team that has everything but a driver. Arriving on his motorcycle (Maverick has since upgraded from his crotch rocket to a more layed back 'harley' style ride), Maverick shows the team some hot shot driving and then guarantees that he will win Daytona this year. The first lesson learned in Days of Thunder is that all you need to be a successful NASCAR driver is apparently some cool sunglasses, gloves, access to ESPN and an aching desire for cock.
After a few rough outings, and inability to actually finish a race, Maverick finally reaches common ground with his Pit Crew Chief (played by Robert Duvall) and they start winning races and he becomes one of the best drivers on the circuit. Maverick's nemesis is not Ice Man in Days of Thunder, but rather some asshole named Roddy (again, Maverick's counterpart has a name that could be inferred as a description of a penis? what the fuck?) who torments Maverick till they both end up in a massive crash during a race.
Uh oh. Adversity!
Yep you guessed it. After the accident, Maverick is fine, but his former nemesis turned buddy, Roddy, has swelling on the brain, and can never race again. What does Maverick do? Holy shit, these guys are such pussies! Similiar to how Maverick ran away in Top Gun, and Dean ran away in Youngblood, Maverick continues this mary-ass tradition and quits....for a short period of time! But again, don't worry about letting anyone down, because the door will always be open for you!
Of course during this trying time, his female counterpart (again another failed attempt at making Maverick appear to be heterosexual) who is the doctor treating him (played by Nicole Kidman....coincidentally I think this is the movie where Tom Cruise traded in his Mimi Rogers beard, for his Nicole Kidman beard) reaches out and helps him to get back on the cock, I mean horse.
Maverick returns with a vengeance, and battles his new nemesis and co-sponsored teammate Carey Elwes (this guy is fantastic at playing a dickhead! I can only assume he is a major league prick in real life, or the greatest actor this planet has ever seen!) for the final race at Daytona, which of course has many pitfalls and obstacles to overcome. But guess what, Maverick overcomes them, and we have a really happy ending....similiar to a massage parlor that offers release.
Days of Thunder proves to us, that quitting is good, because there will always be second chances to redeem ones self.....this is probably the most valuable lesson that film can illustrate to us. Second only to violence solves everything! In the end, this movie is very similiar to Top Gun, in that if you removed all the talking and unsuccessful character development you would have a very exciting movie with the best parts of race car driving. Incidentally, NASCAR is teaspoon less boring than Major League Baseball, so at the very least Days of Thunder does create the illusion that the sport is exciting. I guess all Major League Baseball has to do to freshen up their sport is to have players exploded when they slide into home plate.
Hamlin Grade: 2.5
TImothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,