Gay Pride Cruise Week/Month continues!

Tom Cruise returns as Maverick in A Few Good Men! The third installment in the Top Gun series, Maverick has returned to his roots in the Navy, but this time as a litigator rather than a sky whore. Two Marines stand accused of murder and Maverick is assigned to their case. Can he get them off? If any man can get two men off at the same time....Maverick can!

A Few Good Men is perhaps the most blatantly homosexual title in the Top Gun series. It sounds as though it should be pornagraphy. This film is however a stepping stone in the career for Tom Cruise. It is apparent that he decided he should transcend his good looks, and try to establish himself as a legitimate actor (haha goodluck! I think Van Damme said the same thing after Bloodsport!) and thus he began his pursuit of an Academy Award.....which to this day has eluded him. Why? Well the man can't act for openers! Anyway....perhaps his portrayal of Maverick in A Few Good Men is an improvement over his role in Top Gun, but that's like saying O.J. Simpson was better in Naked Gun than he was in Towering Inferno.

In A Few Good Men, Maverick trades in the comfort of his fighter jet for a courtroom, and instead of being armed with missiles he is only packing a clever researcher played by Kevin Pollock, and a very annoying Demi Moore (who is packing some missiles, so I guess this is a push weapons' wise....but I don't think Demi's implants are military grade....however I've been wrong before. I.E. Fletch's sexuality). Maverick of course is a hot shot Navy lawyer who is the master of negotiating and plea-bargaining and has never actually tried a case.

A Few Good Men is a pleasant change in the Top Gun series because it doesn't really try to force feed you a relationship between Maverick and a female counterpart in an attempt to paint a heterosexual portrait (which has been about as successful as Waterworld was), although there is a pointless 'date' between Maverick and Demi 'Missiles' Moore. A Few Good Men doesn't let us down however, because once again, Maverick faces adversity......and what do you think he does? He quits! True he perhaps does the more butch method of quiting, by doing the drunk walk in the rain, while carrying the fifth of JD.....only to drop and or toss the bottle in the climax to a rage induced pontification. Bottom line, he quits like a pussy.

After pulling himself together (big surprise), Maverick becomes the model lawyer (again fashioned after his father, who was apparently the best lawyer ever....whooopie!) and ends up going head to head with the prosecutor (played by Kevin Bacon, who is the man!), an overly religious Keifer Sutherland, a goofy Noah Wiley (the dude who just left ER), a pre-oscar Cuba Gooding Jr. (Cuba is one of the many who will drive a stake through Tom Cruise's heart, in his quest for an Oscar that will never be his....but I will elaborate more on this later) and multi oscar award winning actor Jack Nicholson. Aside from Demi Moore, this movie is a Trial by sausage (another common theme in all Maverick movies.....little to no vagina...hmmmmmm).

Maverick of course does a great job, but the final result is bittersweet. Why? Watch the movie, because frankly I'm tired of talking about it, and I don't really feel like elaborating any further! If you loved Top Gun, and Days of Thunder, then you are really fucked up....and you will probably like this piece of shit too. Damn you Tom Cruise. Damn you sir.

Hamlin Grade: 1

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
Captain Bosh