William Shatner and Jeff Speakman team up to deliver Oscar calibre performances. Where those performances ended up, who the fuck knows, because they weren't delivered to the set of Land of the Free.

Land of the Free stars probably the greatest bad movie actor of all time William Shatner as Senate Candidate Aiden Cardell. His campaign manager Frank Jennings is played by Jeff Speakman (you may remember Speakman from a variety of martial arts films, most notably the Perfect Weapon....which wasn't just the title of the film, but a description of the dvd when thrown at an adversary). Jennings discovers that his friend, and mentor Cardell is actually using his campaign contributions to finance private military organizations in the hopes of taking over the United States and overthrowing the government. Jennings comes forward and agrees to help the FBI in prosecuting the corrupt Senator.

Now here's what's confusing to me....why use a martial artist in a dramatic role like this? That's as smart as casting Keanu Reeves or Mel Gibson in Shakespeare.....shit.

Cardell, however has different plans. He sends a variety of mercenaries after Frank Jennings, his wife and their son. Frank Jennings is transformed from campaign manager to martial arts superstar.....disarming bad guys, using his patented Kenpo combinations and generally looking like a complete bad ass. This is where casting Speakman makes some sense.....although it's a bit forced (kind of like how Steven Seagal is a cook with Navy Seal training in just about every movie he's in, or Van Damme has to find a reason to do a split, or Costner has to be a fucking cowboy or baseball player....).

The movie builds till the final confrontation between Cardell and Jennings, at Cardell's ranch style home. Now in all honesty, back in his Captain Kirk days, I would have put my money on Shatner to whoop Speakman's ass, hell I think Shatner could have beaten anyone in a fight. Lucky for Speakman, he gets to throw down with the post T.J. Hooker, wig wearing, girdle busting version of Shatner (there is a scene at the end where Shatner has to sprint to the helicopter....i thought his gut was going to explode from his shirt). Really he is a shadow of his former self in everything but acting ability! Shatner brings it! Ok back to the fight. The thing that really pisses me off about it, well a couple of things, Shatner is so old, he obviously can't do stunts anymore, so half the fight is a stunt double, but what really drives me insane, is that Shatner did'nt do the 'Captain Kirk Throw'! Star Trek fans know what I'm talking about. This move is undefendable when applied by Shatner (it involves sweet Bill, while facing his opponent, grabbing both of his arms, and rolling backwards.....then thrusting a leg into the midsection of said opponent to send them somersaulting over Shatner.....truly brilliant). Basically the fight is Speakman kicking the shit out Shatner. Not very exciting.....what Shatner wouldn't do....for a simple...hand....phaser.

Land of the Free is a fairly predictable movie, and really offers no surprises. What makes this bad movie so great is Shatner. His acting (or lack thereof) is top notch. If you love classic Shatner this movie is for you.....and we haven't seen an evil Shatner like this since Star Trek : Mirror Mirror (remember the evil versions of everyone? "You're the Captain's woman.....till he says you're not.").

Hamlin Grade: 4.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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