What do you get when you combine the acting talents of Michael Pare, Phillip Michael Thomas, and Lee Majors? You get perfection! Just kidding. You get a really shitty movie called Fate.

Fate is film about two detectives on the trail of a serial killer who apparently thinks he is an instrument of God. Detective Cody Martin (Michael Pare), and Detective Ciprian Raines (Philip Michael Thomas, who you probably remember from T.V.'s Miami Vice as Detective Rico Tubbs) are investigating a series of ritual killings where the victims bodies are found adorned with scripture. The serial killer played by Lee Majors (the former six million dollar man looks like he's worth about a buck and change now), and his identity is given to us way to early. The serial killer scenes are ridiculous, because he is so out of place in ever shot. Lee Majors is dressed like the Unibomber and drives around in a bright red 40 year old pick up truck. If he doesn't look like a killer, this getup would definitely shout 'Hey I'm a sex offender!'

There is little to no surprise in this bad movie except for the fact that Lee Majors is really not that bad of an actor. He makes chumps out of everyone in this film, so much so, that I and my colleague and virtual lover Fletch, agree that this is prime example of the Ironside Agenda.

Fate trys so hard to be other movies, that it fails altogether. About 10 minutes into Fate, there is a scene ripped right from 'the Fugitive.' Michael Pare storms a house where a man has a cop hostage, holding a gun to his head. Repeating the exact same line that was in 'the Fugitive', he says 'I got your man', 'I got your man', until Michael Pare sneaks behind him and shoots him in the head. I was stunned. I have never seen a more blatant ripoff in a bad movie. Amazing. Why stop there? The rest of the movie is copy of 'Seven' and 'Kiss the Girls'. The crime scenes all look like they were watching 'Seven' while they filmed this, and the serial killer keeps his kidnapped victims in a cave just like the one from 'Kiss the Girls'. I have no glossary term to define the over the top plagiarism in Fate, but rest assured one is on the way!

Michael Pare and the guy from Miami Vice deliver typical performances, which is to say they sucked. I have to thank Michael Pare (because no one, not even me can resist the Pare), for every time he steps on a movie set, he provides us with hours and hours entertainment. Philip Michael Thomas.....this is the first peice of....work, that I have seen you in since your early 80's glory, and let me just say my friend.....the party is over. Hope for a cameo in the Miami Vice movie......but don't hold your breath.

Hamlin Grade: 3.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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