This is a bad movie surprise. I bought this movie because I remember it being really cool when I saw it as a child. Today, all I want to do is go back in time and kick my own ass.

Damnation Alley is a film that celebrates the golden years of when the United States and Russia hated one another, and a nuclear holocaust was imminent. Between 1975-1985, Hollywood loved to play off this mutual hatred and show us film after film of 'what if' scenarios involving our eventual mutual assured destruction. Damnation Alley is one of those movies that showcases life after nuclear war....

Damnation Alley stars George Peppard (Hannibal from the A-Team), Jan-Michael Vincent (a Bad Movie Knight favorite! see our review of The Alienator ), Paul Winfield (famous for his role as Captain Terrell of the USS Reliant from Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, and as Lieutenant Traxler in the Terminator NOTE: Mr. Winfield probably has one of the funniest lines in a movie ever when he asks his co-star Lance Henrickson how he looks, Henrickson says "Like shit boss"....Winfield responds with "Your Momma!"), some French bitch named Dominique Sanda, and the kid that played Kelly (the one who smoked cigarettes and hit homeruns) from the Bad News Bears.

Damnation Alley follows the exploits and adventures of a small group of World War 3 survivors who plan to trek across the nuclear wasteland that was once the United States of America to Albany, New York, the last place that is still transmitting radio broadcasts. The path they take.....Damnation Alley. Using some really cool looking RVs (you've probably seen them before, I remember them being used in The Six Million Dollar Man) they begin their journey. Along the way they run into standard post-WW3 obstacles giant blue scorpions (which Jan-Man negotiates with his sweet BMX ride), tornado sand storms, armor plated flesh eating cock roaches, mutant red neck rapists, electrical storms, violent floods...until they reach Albany....which is picturesque!

Damnation Alley has some of the worst blue screening and special effects ever. The budget of this movie definitely went towards constructing the futuristic motor-homes and nothing else. The scorpion sequence in the beginning was awful. The sky is often an Aurora Borealis with some coloring added to it, and when they need to address 'radiation', everything gets painted yellow or red.

The acting in Damnation Alley is not that bad, but it's not great either. Peppard is just a cock in this movie, especially towards Jan-Man, who is the over the top wild guy, who must break all the rules. It's obvious Peppard has homosexual tendencies toward Jan-Man in this, and is frustrated by it, so he treats him like shit. The French chick is this movie, was there just to have a female presence, and to setup the 'almost' rape scene at the hands of a bunch of mutant farmers, who haven't seen any babes in a spell, and need a piece. The kid. Again like this movie, he serves no purpose.

Damnation Alley is a blast from the past, that really fell short of it's remembered glory, but for our purposes it turned out to be a good pickup. If you enjoy reliving the good old days of nuclear arms, and hating on the Russians then this is your film. By the way, Peppard's mustache almost makes this bad movie a must see. White hair and black 'stache.....good look George....I'd say keep it up, but you're dead dude.

Hamlin Grade: 2.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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