Blood Money stars Wings Hauser and my new favorite actor Robert Z'dar (of Future War fame).

I really want to rip into both of these guys, but in all fairness I can't. Wings Hauser, although no Robert Deniro, really doesn't do too bad a job. Same goes for Robert Z'Dar. What makes this movie so great (or awful, depending on a certain point of view....A certain point of view? Luke you are going to find that many of the bad movies we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view...whoah sorry, parentheses flashback), is that Hauser and Z'Dar, so outclass the supporting cast of actors and actresses, it's like watching Glengary Glen Ross with me in it. This is a little something I like to call the Ironside Agenda.

This epic is centered around a counterfeiting ring that gets taken over by Miller (played by Robert Z'Dar) and his gang (played by a group of the worst actors on this planet). Miller then tries to use his newly found counterfeit money to sell to the highest bidder, of which there aren't many, so he obviously becomes enraged.....hmmm the insane Mobster, becoming more angry and seeking out vengeance....are we in danger of having a plot develop here? Certainly not!

Detective Jack Saxon (played by Wings Hauser....what a great name) is a cop who....get ready for this....is too violent and is on the outs with his Chief! Wow! His job, is also effecting his relationship with his new fiance....who by the way refused to marry him in the beginning of the movie unless he did it from his knees! Who the hell are you lady? Zod? Detective Saxon eventually ends up getting suspended for his ultra-violent tactics halfway thru the movie, till the head of the FBI declares that he is needed to break the case! (see Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, etc.)

Peppered throughout this Scorsese-like masterpeice are some brilliant Vietnam flashbacks that show us the relationship of Miller and Saxon in the earlier years. Vietnam, as I learned looks a lot like California, so much so you can practically hear the traffic from the expressway. While in Vietnam, Miller and Saxon share some special moments, like the "lets shoot bottles from each other's hands" game, and eventually Miller saves Saxon's life (uh oh...life debt).

As I said earlier, the supporting cast is really what brings this movie together. Miller's gang members are like a bunch of Good Fellas that got microwaved. Saxon's fiance is....aside from when she's naked, is completely useless....and his partner....holy shit what a pussy! His partner, bad actor obviously, plays a cop who's afraid to shoot his gun. So much so, there is a stand off between him and a bad guy that lasts for five minutes with both participants saying 'You put your gun down', 'No! You put your gun down!'....and guess what....the cop actually puts his gun down. Next time you are facing off against a cop, give that a try!

The climax of this movie is when Saxon and Miller face off to the death. Can Saxon save his fiance? Will his partner grow a set? Do you care?

If all else fails, you will certainly be intrigued by Robert Z'Dar. The man has such a huge jaw, it makes Jay Lenos' seem average. That combined with his Rocky Balboa haircut will certainly give you enough to look at for 94 minutes you will have to sacrifice for this film. If not you can always use the dvd as a coaster for your beer.

Hamlin Grade: 3.5

Timothy Dalton is the one true James Bond,
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